Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Trains, Plains, and Embarrassment!!

The train is the one I was on this morning to get to work.

The plain in my title, is the plain fact that you cannot serve the commuters of Liverpool on the ormskirk line at morning rush hour, with just a 3 carriage train. MiseryRail, er sorry I mean Merseyrail, (my train provider) have obviously not used their astounding brain power and worked this out yet.

The Embarassment?


We were unceremoniously packed in like sardines, every person for themselves in a mad dash for personal space, but ending up each with a personal space of about 1cm between you and the person next to you. Standing up, this is even more uncomfortable as, depending on the person next to you, various body parts can smother or poke you at various times as people struggle to get on or off the train.

Unfortunately this situation can be even more worsened if you happen to be 5 foot 2 and lacking in height, making you at precisely the right vantage point for the excruciatingly bizzarre and embarrassing "eye to boob" ratio. Okay, I know most lads couldn't dream of a better situation in their wildest wet dreams, but I am not most men!!

My personal space is my inalienable right as a British Citizen, and I don't care what body part is in my face or how attractive, just get it THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!

Sorry. *calms down now and stops hyperventilating*

I love my personal space, and unless I am fond of the person I'm standing next to/talking with/sitting with/lounging on a couch with, then I adhere it to it religiously...

Even more than the Bible...

I mean it people.

So I was quite relieved to get to work today, a sentiment I don't usually share!!

The moral of this story?

If you find yourself tightly packed in a train on a cold day, and you are, let's say vertically challenged...

Wear eye protection, otherwise you might just lose an eye...


  1. Lol!

    Your experiences and explanations of the eye-to-boob thing made me laugh outloud! Thank you!

  2. ha ha! brings back memories of being squashed between the wall of a bus and a really, really fat Ukrainian grandma!! the worst was, ukraine doesn't seem to have gotten the memo about the whole deoderant thing. :o

  3. Oh LOL. Margo's comment just reminded me of a time in Cornwall. Me and my friend Alex were in Padstow and it was Mayday - they were having a Mayday parade and there were people everywhere. We were trying to manouvre around people and saw a gap right by the harbour wall. We moved over there, just as we're squeezing past people and a long drop into the sea, this really fat woman bends over and sticks her bum out into our path and nearly pushes us into the sea! Some very clever and skilful reflexes meant that we escaped unharmed - but were in fits of hysterics - as she didn't even notice!

    Fun times!