Sunday, April 08, 2007

The key.

I can't get in.

The sight that is so familiar to me, my place of entrance, the access to my heart, my home, is now blocked.

Shut out, refused entry to the place of warmth and security, I know there is nothing else to do.

So I sit.

I feel the warm bricks against my back and I close my eyes. I know within my grasp is the security I have known and loved, but my way is blocked. I feel a thousand thoughts rush through my mind, things I could do, options open to me, ways to access that which I hold dear.

Instead I sit, and I wait.

"Be pateient". -

I hear Your whisper, and I know You're right. No expulsion of emotion, no tantrum will solve this problem, no idea or tool will help me. Instead, i obey Your instruction.

So I wait, and listen.

I feel the warm sun on my face, the gentle breeze on my cheek, and a thousand voices raised in the trees singing and calling praise to Your Name.

In this moment, in this time, in this space...

I am Yours and You are mine.

No words need be said, no touch need be given, for I feel You more real and more imminent than even myself, Your whisper of love for me is heard in the breeze.

I am content.

Here in this place, in this interruption, You break in and enfold me, and I am undone. No one loves me like You, no one understands me like You, and there no-one I want more than You.

This day, this celebration, is for You.

This mistake You changed, to opportunity, to know the depth of Your love for me.

This Day I rejoiced with others, in You, I rejoiced that you defeated Death, but I rejoice more that You have defeated my death. The death of all needs and longings, to be replaced by a desire for You. This warm contentment, I will know again someday, and on that Day I will see You face to face. No breeze will communicate Your touch, no sunshine will bring Your warmth, instead, Your hand will brush my face, Your embrace will flood me with warmth as it is now. On that Day, we will speak as lovers reunited, and I will feel Your kiss on my forehead, Your breath on my cheek, bringing me closer and closer to You.

They've arrived.

This moment, this space with You is over now, but I know I will return to this place again.

You've given me access.


  1. *tears up*

    I've been trying all day to find a way to express how I feel about this day as well. I'll probably try later on with my own blog, but you've already done it, Hobbs. That's exactly right.

    *loves you*

  2. I really enjoyed this as well ... Thank you.

  3. Such graceful prose, it's a true gift to be capable of conveying true feelings authentically. I wish I had that gift too!

    I truly admire you and others who feel this way about Jesus as, no matter how hard I've tried, it's something I've never felt.

    Bless you.