Beware of Old Age... It Creeps Up On You...

17 August 2004
Time: 21:40:00 o'clock BST
Author: happyhobbit29
Mood: Worried
Music: Chris Rice - Short Term Memories (Best Of)

I had a HIGHLY embarrassing incident today...

I thought, still being 29, that old age was a far off unpleasantry I didnt have to consider until many years time. I was very, very wrong.

Let me outline the situation I found myself in:

PLACE: In Work.

TIME: after lunch.

SITUATION: Just come back from lunch, had a violent sneezing fit which meant I had to blow my nose. No problems there. Had made a coffee and carried it downstairs to the shop floor...

CHARACTERS: Jm, (me) Gorgeous looking Girl, lot's of other non-descript customers...

Anyway, that's the background. I was standing behind the counter, the sun was actually shining for once outside, and a Gorgeous Looking Girl came up to the counter to ask for a book, which I then preceeded to search for. Tried my best not to be over awed by this picture of radiant female beauty, but failed slightly as I turned a subtle shade of slight crimson. (I ALWAYS do that! Grrrrrrrrr...)

I thought a good strategy was to pretend an carry on as if I hadn't turned red, fortunately this worked as she apparently didn't notice my change of colour. Perhaps she didn't even notice I existed but I didn't think of that at the time...

I started to wonder. Could I impress Gorgeous Girl with my unbounding knowledge of Christian Literature? Could romance happen over a shop counter as an invisible yet raging inferno of passion was communicated through glances over conversations about her author? I could only try...

As I was reading out the name of the author and book she wanted, and she was nodding approvingly as we agreed, I felt a strange tickling sensation on the outside of my nostril...

This sensation got worse as the conversation between me and Gorgeous Girl turned to the author's other books, which I told her were all very good... (well they are!)

SUDDENLY, with an ice-cold nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach, I realised in horror what the tickling sensation was....

A HUGEEEEEEEEEEE BLACK NOSE HAIR/TENDRIL HAD ESCAPED!!!

When I blew my nose earlier, I must have started off an evil chain reaction in my nose that had awakened this evil creature of nasality!!

With sheer embarrassment, I turned away from Gorgeous Girl and tried to force a convincing cough so I could cover up my nose/mouth area an push the offending octopi like hair back up...

Horrendously, this made it extend EVEN longer. She looked at me. I KNEW the nose hair was there in full view dangling apparently unashamed, daring everyone to look at it in an exhibitionist-like way...

She KNEW it was there too. How could she not??! It made an amazonian python look like a premature earthworm. Yet we both took the only strategy available to avoid embarrassment.for both of us...

We pretended to be ignorant.

The discussion was over, the book was found, and the transaction was finished. She left the shop, and I leaned under the counter reaching for the box of hankies...

(shudders) It will give me nightmares that one, for years....

I'll be able to tell my non-existent holographic grandchildren about the time nose hair wrecked my love life.........