The end of a day...

And I'm tired, and fed-up.

The shop is starting to get very busy now, and to make it worse, tommorrow I'm in from 8:30 am till 7:30 pm, 'cos it's Late Night Shopping. Deep Joy.

This means I won't get home till 8:00/8:30 tommorrow night.

At least it makes the days go quicker I spose. I know that sounds really depressing, but I don't get as exzcited about Christmas now as much as I used to. This will be my second Christmas being single, and my first without Gaz, Gen and little David. It's nearly two years since I became one of "the single" again, and although I'm used to it now, I don't particularly like it.

When you have someone to buy things for, Christmas takes on new meaning, as you find joy bringing joy to someone else. Without that, it's very easy to lose the whole meaning, and bitterly wait out the "happy-go-lucky" season, reliving past hurts and regrets, until the midnight chimes of New Year herald a potential new start.

Oh God, I hope you know what You're doing with my life, 'cos sometimes I feel it's such a lonely mess, only making sense to ou, who can see the beginning from the end. In some ways, it's not all bad; thankfully, I've got the past the stage of getting emotional now every time I see a couple, hand in hand, looking as if no one existed but the other person, and remembering back to when I thought I had that. But in rare moments of quiet, I find myself wondering "Where is she God?". I guess He has His own timing, until then, I've just got to wait. That's the hard part.

Well, now that I've thoroughly depressed myself, I'm off to bed to read.

Nite.