Monday, January 31, 2005

A Poooooo Week....

It's gonna be rubbish this week (generally speaking), because:

  • First day back at work today after my weekend away in London visiting Adele (I miss her already... I know that's really cheesy but it's true... :s )
  • Got Month End Accounts to do over the next two days (I LOATHE maths)
  • Got Stocktake of whole shop to do tommorrow (see below)
  • Which involves counting MILLIONS of rubbers, and pencils with WWJD on them, and other pointless and infuriating things
  • I have to finish all this before 5:30 tommorrow, because Wednesday is my day off!!
  • Im a bit fed up being back home
  • Im in a moany mood
  • And a whinging one
  • I've just realised I've eaten the only sugar dummy I had left...

Pants.

Feb the 14th....

Ok, so it's the first valentine's day in two years that Im not single, so I'm gonna have to make an effort this year....

I've been thinking of a few verses, my favourite of which is not really appropriate, but makes me giggle...

"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I wake up screaming when I think of you...."

Hehe.

Or:

"Roses are Blue, Violets are Red, I'm colour blind, it's messed up in my head..."

lol lol lol

I'm so thilly weeeeeeeeeleeee....


Mondays....

Is it just me, or were they created to forever have a "flat" feeling?!

Ok, so songs have been written about mondays, but to be fair, mine seem to be more boring and stale than manic...

At the moment, I'm listening to a best of the 80's CD, which is a little worrting, since I haven't switched it off yet. I'm not really in the mood, but can't be bothered to get up off my backside...

that's bad really isn't it?!

Just read my brothers blog, and it's definitely different!! Methinks I will have to educate him in severe randomness and get a little of the 'ole Cullen charm in there.... (He's still pig-sick about my new gf.... hehe)

Um... my mind's gone blank....

Um....

Bye.


My brother now has a blog...

Yes that's right, I've introduced my blood relative (2nd youngest brother, after Me, then David) to the world of blogging...

The member of my tribal clan who is the epitomy of all things male and violent, (he used to be in the army but you'll guess that by the pics) is now released upon your screens, to cause havoc, violence and laughter, but not neccesarily in that order...

Peter has reliably informed me you have to go and see his blog girls, because it has a picture of his monkey on it...! (I'm sorry it's not my fault, he told me to say that)

To visit Peter's blog, please click on the blog title above.... Thanks.

I'm knackered, got back from London just before, and have to be up for work in 5 and a half hours. What a depressing thought. Still, at least I had a great weekend, and managed to nearly smother my gf to death with snogs and hugs.... ;)

(she liked it and said that was a good thing by the way.... lol)

And the zit never made an appearance.... YAY!!!!

Sven, I will post on my thoughts on thingummy-wotsit soon....

(Can you tell I'm tired?!)

Nite.

Friday, January 28, 2005

I shouldn't Laugh... But I Nearly Died Of It!! lol lol lol

Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.



Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at thetop of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshìt might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

lol lol lol

Silly Jokes but not as good as Tristan's...

Again click on the title to find out what I'm talking about!!

Now for mine:

A pastor decides to boost his weekly offerings, so announces in church that whoever gives the most generous donation in offerings that week, will be granted the opportunity to choose three hymns at the next service...

The pastor is overwhelmed at the end of the service that thousands of pounds have been taken in offerings, and although it is close, there is one final winner, a lady.

The next week the Pastor announces that this particular lady gave the most and so gets to choose three hymns...

The lady hesitates, then points around the packed church...

I'll take HIM, HIM, and HIM....!!!!

;)

lol

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Sven's quick thoughts on Penal Substitution...

Please click on the above blog title to read sven's thoughts...

Thanks, Sven, for your comments: I found them very thought provoking, and will definitely post on it once I have come back from London next week, and had chance to digest what you said. (As I've said before, I'm not an academic by any stretch of the imagination, and will have to read through your comments a few times before they sink in..! lol)

Very interesting debate, I need to think carefully about how I answer, as I'm not too good at expressing myself!! (give me a guitar anyday... ;) lol)

Meanwhile... I'm packing to go away for the weekend to visit Adele!! YAY!!! :-)

I'm also EXTREMELY happy to report that thanks to advice from fellow bloggers, Savlon, and God; (I'm convinced but you may laugh if you want!) my war against 'subcutaneous terror', has now been one, and my zit is speedily in retreat!! Hopefully, snogging without fear of spread of bacteria can commence!!

As usual, I shall take my faithful camera with me, and many pictures will be taken!! I may even convince Adele to pose for one, so you can witness the breathtaking beauty she is!! :-)

(I won't hold my breath on that though, as with most women, she doesn't think she's that good looking, even though she actually is! lol)

Later...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!

:-)

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

It's War...

That's it.

I'm fed up.

I'm 30 years old, and two mornings ago, I woke up to find a HORRIFIC HUMONGOUS yellow-headed zit on my top lip!!! I haven't had acne for years, and yet the week before I go and visit my gf, it cruelly appears...

I've tried squeezing it, which is VERY painful, but it collapses and reforms again. I tried aggresive shaving just before... but to no avail.

The head I cut off with my razor, but it just bled for a long time, and... you've guessed it.

Reformed.

I think I might have to resort to cutting my top lip open, removing the offending grease, and sewing it back on again...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Slogans Please: Help Wanted!!

From the 6th March, a new breed of satirical, funny, stupendously good-looking and incredibly silly Radio DJ's will be born... me and my mate Bazza!!

Following the success of our show in Septermber, we'll be hitting the airwaves again, (literally!) on our local Christian Radio Station, to give our "shout out" to the Wirral and beyond!!

"Baz & Jm" will be back... but I need bloggers help!

We need slogans from the world of TV and Advertising to be used in a totally pointless way as our Jingles, which we will be recording in the Studio, this Wednesday, the 26th.

An extremely bad example: "Listening to Baz & Jm gives you wings"...

You get the idea.

Please help us make a mockery of the world of advertising, and help us succed in our quest to get arrested for plagiarism on air!!

Thankyou!!

*bows*

Creative Juices...

Are definitely flowing tonight...

I've been saving draft blogs to post in the future, all night...!

I need to get a life and some sleep...

Because Life Is Short, and So Am I...

;)

Nite.

In Other News....

It was our (very late!) Staff Christmas Meal tonight!!

here are some pics for your enjoyment...

The Gang...

on the left, Helen, next to her with his back to me, my Boss, Andrew, married to Helen, next to him, Karen, next to her, Linda, next to her, Val, and at the far end of the table, obscured is our saturday girl Rachel...

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The Gang... Again!!

A better picture!! We were all ready to eat, we were starving, although some people had already had a liquid tea beforehand, as you can tell by the smiles... ;)

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Thirsty...

Andrew and Helen start on the wine, even before we order the food... I of course was watching with self-righteous indignation from a safe distance away... ;)

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Oh Dear....

Suddenly the camera felt a bit light in my hands... The pure unadulterated Joy of the now defunct season of merriment had gone straight to my head...

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Hmmmmmm....

Andrew was demonstrating his uncanny ability to hold a bottle of wine upside down without spilling any wine... I felt very strange... What was my name again?!

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It Escalates...

Although Helen is normally very reserved, the alchohol level consumed meant that she found a new way to win arguments with her husband...

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Everyone found this funny, including...

Val...

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And Of course...

Linda...

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And Also...

Karen...

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The person who thought this most hillarious...

was Rachel...

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Let's not forget...

Helen... who sat in smug satisfaction...!

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Karen...

showed us why she WOULD have the last say in who got the last of the wine...!!

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I, Of course...

watched from a safe distance, and laughed in the face of Tirimasu... (this is possibly THE ugliest picture of me I have EVER seen... lol)

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In response to Karen's Aggression... Val...

suddenly mutated to grow Linda's head from her shoulder!!!

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Ah Well....

Another Christmas meal come and gone...

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Trucking It In Style...!

The pics show you the scale of the Lorry, but what they don't show you is:

  1. the fact that a person of normal, or even tall-ish height can STAND-UP in the cab, because it's that big!!!
  2. the fact that inside the cab you have cupboards, a bed, a fold-out table, etc!
  3. the fact that there is something that is very scary and also a little nerve-racking about being a passenger in this kind of truck!
  4. the fact that the acceleration is so good, without a container and a limiter on the engine, this baby could match speed for speed with most cars within 5/6 seconds...
  5. the fact that my bro can wheel-spin his truck!!!
  6. the fact that the truck has different coloured lights before I get up!
  7. the 500 BHP (Break Horse power) Engine that this monster contains!!!

And Here It Is!!

This fine specimen of a vehicle was brought to you by Testosterone, All Things Male, and Yorkie Bars... My chariot of choosing for Friday... (that's my bro in the pic, and he's 6"2!!)

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Rising Above It All...

The view from the cab... about 9 foot up off the road...!

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What Does A Trucker eat?!

A BIG, MANLY piece of carcass from a cow of course!!

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You Won't See This Very Often...

A Trucker Multi-Tasking... Eating AND Holding A Flask Of Coffee At The Same Time!!

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That's Right...

Remember, Yorkie is for men!!

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Yorkie...

It's not for girls you know...

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Tooth Of The Tiger?!

I tried to bite into it in a manly way...

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Friday, January 21, 2005

Hobbit's Exciting Trucking Adventure...!

I've got a day off today...

And I'm going to work with my brother, who has the enviable job of driving BIG, MASCULINE, EIGHTEEN WHEEL, CONTAINER TRUCKS...

HELL YEAH!!

lol

I may even take some pics, I'll be back much later, around midnite, to tell of my adventures!!

*bursting with excitement*

I've got all the essentials:

  • flask of coffee (industrial strength)
  • baseball bat in cab (for road rage)
  • porn mags (not that I use them, but it's the image, right?!)
  • two days growth (thats a lie)
  • an itch specially developed on my arse so I scratch it every ten seconds
  • Heavy metal albums (metallica mainly for playing loud)
  • A severe attitude problem (had to borrow this temporarily)
  • A very loud wolf whistle for 'da laydeeeeeez' (had to borrow this also)
  • A baseball cap, a string vest, and to set it all off, a serial killer like limp
  • A blank bored stare
  • A drunken girlfriend ringing me up every ten minutes to make me swerve wildly
  • Several bottles of vodka in brown paper bags, to throw randomly out of the window at passers by

I'm a happy man...

:-)


Thursday, January 20, 2005

ROFL This Quiz is so wrong... ROFL

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"

Average Christian
You're not going to become a minister anytime soon, but you do your best to live your life in a Christian way. This means that although you probably don't attend church every Sunday, you do your best to follow the Ten Commandments, help the needy and generally be an all around good person. Who needs to follow the entire bible anyways? It was written ages ago, and Christ transmuted it by giving his life.

Um... not sure about this one!!

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

August
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

Apparently... a Parrot!!! Is that good?!

Take the quiz: "What is your personal mascot?"

Parrot
Parrot
You are talkative and kind. You'd do anything for your friends and they love you for it. Congratulations on being so awsome!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

A Truly Scary Moment...

...In work today, here's how it went:

(Val and I in work, really busy in the shop, phone rings)

V: Good morning, (shop name) Val speaking, can I help you?
(listens to callers request, puts phone on hold)
V: Jm, it's your mate Ken for you...
Jm: Ok
(ONE minute of extreme busyness in serving pass, 6 customers are served between us)
(Jm turns to back counter and sees phone off the hook and receiver lying there and looks at it puzzled)
Jm: Did I just answer the phone?! (starting to panic cos he doesn't remember doiing so)
V: I don't think so... (frowning at Jm) Did I?
(we both stare at each other for another full minute with blank expressions of bewilderment on our faces)
Jm: I don't think I did... (hesitatingly now) Did I?! Did You?!
V: Er....
Jm: Um...
V: (takes control even though still completely blank, thinking it's my fault, and saving me the embarrassment) I'll take it off hold an jus pretend I've just picked it up shall I?
Jm: (very hesitantly) Ok...
V: Hello?! (person has gone now obviously)
Jm: (nervously asks) So?!
V: Er... (still blank) no-one was there!!
(both suddenly spontaneously remember the context of the phone off the hook on the back at the same time, and collapse into laughter and uncontrollable guffawing at their own stupidity)
Jm: I'll call him back shall I?!
V: (still laughing loudly) Er yeh!
Jm: Let's not talk about this shall we?!

My Baby...

The Boss GT-6

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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

January Blues...

It's freezing, (3 degrees c) raining, dark, and the wind is howling outside my window.

I don't want to go into work, I want to stay inside and go back to bed.

Pants.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Bad Hair Day...

I need a haircut.

BUT:

I can't afford one, 'cos I'm skint.

SO:

Therefore I have to put up with bad hair till the end of the month...

I got my hair sort of ok today, but as I walked out of the front door this morning, the heavens opened, (I mean in a meterological sense, not an eschatological one) and I got soaked to the skin before I reached the bus top. Combined with this, the very strong winds slapped my mop of hair about in all directions, but mainly backwards.

Unfortunately, because I'd used hair wax, my hair plastered itself to the back of my head, and dryed that way. I didn't realise until I got to work that my hairstyle made me look like an evil Mafioso Boss, slicked back and menacing...

I'm sure I heard God giggle and mention something about vanity, there may have even been the odd guffaw in there somewhere...

More Random Thoughts...

My mate Baz reckons there's gonnna be a Pizza Hut in Heaven, but I'm not so sure...

Not unless it was completely free!!

Are Jalapenos biblical?!

;)

Random Thought...

I hope I get to do a gig in Heaven!!

That would be WELL COOL!!

I'd still make a few mistakes on chords, but no-one would care!!

I wouldn't get told off for playing too loud, for being too enthusiastic, no-one would ask me whether my JS-100 Ibanez electric guitar and Marshall Amp were "biblical instruments"...

Talk about an atmosphere!!!

lol

Please God?!

Addendum to previous post...

Actually, technically, he doesn't anymore, not in a real earth bound sense, 'cos he's dead...

BUT

In Heaven he's doing his three-thousandth encore at the mo...

:-)

Keith Green ROCKS!!!

Sorry... just had to say it.

Today's blog is sponsored by the word "Strange"...

I'm sitting here listening to Keith Green, (Christian seventies piano stuff, bit like Billy Joel) which is totally the opposite to the Heavy Rock band Pillar that I listen to also.

Yet I really like it!! Is my taste in music strange or wot?!

Today was a strange day...

The shop was really really quiet, and we had about 50 customers in total, probably to do with the fact it's been raining and windy most of the day, and top temperature was about 43 degrees farenheit, and wind was at least 18mph! (details, details!) So, that said, I'm not that surprised we were quiet!

We have our bi-annual stocktake at the beginning of February, (oh joy!) so we have to do stupid mind-numbingly boring things to prepare that are definitely totally neccesary, but a complete pain in the derriere!!

For example...

Instaed of unpacking parcels, placing orders, and answering the phone, mostly, today:

I matched up CD's with their cases on the shop floor, using the "coloured sticker" method...

Because we get a few scalli's coming in, we have to take the CD's out of their cases, and keep them somewhere else other than on display. This is a pain! It means twice a year we inevitably have to find the CD's that have gone missing, and the cases that don't match, etc...

So, muggins here had to match all of them up today, placing a coloured sticker on the plastic holder of the CD, when I located its case. I've nearly finished the shop, just got two more sections to go tommorrow. It's SUCH a depressing, morale-crushing job, but has to be done, so I figure it's better me getting depressed by it that the rest of the staff!! (see, I am a nice boss!)

After five hours of sticking stickers on, you do reach a "sticker overload" and need to go and make a cup of tea before the world becomes a strange surreal mix of strangely coloured customers of bright hues...

I've been having alot of decaff coffee lately, as I've been trying to cut down, and I forgot today and had "proper" coffee....

Oh dear.

I had the shakes, and my mouth felt dry and my legs wobbly, and I suddenly realised after not having it so long, my body was reacting nearly straight away to the caffeine, and craving it again!! I swiftly tipped the rest of it down the sink, fearful of what would happen next!! After about ten mins, I returned to what boring people call "normal"...

Ah well!

The rest of my day was spent in the company of the coloured stickers, and, even worse, my train home was delayed by 20 minutes, so I didn't get home till 6:50!!

I never did find out why the train was late, or why it stopped between two stations, and the announcement came over the tannoys apologizing for the delay, but offering no explanation. Personally, I think it's all a big conspiracy, and the railway track that you see doesn't actually exist, it's a clever trick fooling your eyes, and really small purple coloured impish-like men are laying down the track every few yards, changing the direction ever-so-slightly every day, till one day we won't notice the train pulling into a strange bright white light, and stopping completely, and aliens will experiment on our organs for hours when we good, british "queue loving" passengers (blissfully unaware) think the train is experiencing a "track failure"...

Ahem.

Anyways...

However, my lateness was appeased by the fact that my WONDERFUL parents had ordered Pizza in, and not just any Pizza, but Pizza Hut Pizza which is the best in the world!! (Hope "P.H." bosses are reading this impromptu advert an give me a free one... ;) ) So I enjoyed a very unhealthy but delicious tea of Pizza and Chips... Mmmmmmmmm....

Has anyone noticed it's even more delicious when it's cold?!

Now that's strange but true!!

Anyone born just before or just after 1974 remember "World Of The Strange" with trev and simon?! On Live and Kicking on a saturday morning???! Now they were strange but very funny at the time...

Ah the memories...


Saturday, January 15, 2005

Bleeeeuuurrggghhhhh!

Just felt a bit "snacky" so had one of my previously mentioned Nuclear chocolates...

Man did I regret that...

*nods to the friendly hallucinations*...

My Daily but Neccessary Vice...

See? It's not that big really...

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Shoe-ists Temporarily Invade!!

Therese, this one's for you... My new boots...

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A Window Of Opportunity...

this is the view outside my bedroom window...

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Fact For Today...

The First Live Commentary of a rugby match took place at Twickenham today in 1927. It was Wales v England...

Talking Of Creation...

This is the birth place of my blog... pete notice my desk is FAR more untidy than yours...

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Friday, January 14, 2005

Holiday Madness...

For the first year EVER, I've had to book all my holidays for the year ahead, in advance. As a staff team, we've got so many conferences and bookstalls, and events this year that we've had to plan ahead.

I still feel a bit wierd about it, but never mind, it's done now!

Fact For Today...

"The Simpsons" Started as a regular series on this date in 1990!!

Haha! It Gets Worse!!


I am nerdier than 26% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

How I Will Die!! lol lol lol (and not of miss-spelling!)

Take the quiz: "How Will You Die(Brutal Pics)"

Car Accedent
you like life and ull die lest suspectfully

Ha Ha Ha Ha That's Sooo Funny!!!!

Take the quiz: "What word are you??"

Wise
You are very loyal to people and have a good insight into life. You are down to earth and very caring. You like to give advice and help others. You are an old soul, mature with a good head on your shoulders. At times you can be stubborn in your beliefs, but who could blame you, you don't like comprimising them.

I Am A Sword... YAY!

Take the quiz: "What Kind Of Weapon Are you?"

Sword
You're the sword! Most definitely the most honorable and honest of weapons. You've been used for thousands of years to inflict pain and death on mankind. People see you as the most noble of weapons. Traditionally, you're the big brother of the gun. If a gun isn't available, a fighter will grab for you and try to take out their enemy. You're retired now, nobody really uses you in war, mankind has other... More disgusting methods now. You're good for a stab in the heart, the neck or the gut and everyone appreciates a death by a sword. The only people that use you anymore are either very stupid or very crazy. Murderer.

Tommorrow...

I will go camera mad again.

I've decided.

So there.

Prepare for more of Liverpool City Centre!!

I may even take a pic of my street if I'm that bored!!

Am also in a happier mood now because I've booked my coach tickets down to London to visit Adele at the end of the month, and I can't wait!!

*is grinning inanely*

I've really missed her, and it's only been two weeks!! That's a bit pathetic really... oh well!

At least it only cost me £13.99! Yay!

Cookies and other things...

Grrrrrrrrr

Haven't been able to blog for a few days, 'cos my browser lost all the cookies or summat...

Basically it screwed up my internet.

Sorted it now tho.

Um...

That's it really!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Fact For Today...

Opera was broadcast on the radio for the first time ever on this date in 1910.

Monday, January 10, 2005

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing...

Hmmmmmmmmm....

Ever had one of those conversations that suddenly sparks things off in your head?

I've just been talking to a friend from my church. To get the background, maybe you should know that I am one of those christians that belives in a literal six day creation, that believes all the people from adam to Jesus and beyond were literal historical figures. I'm one of those crazy people who thinks although ken ham looks like the missing link (which is quite ironic!) actually... he's kinda cool. In some ways, people would call me "fundamentalist" in the worst possible usage of the term, which in some senses, I'm not ashamed of being, but in others I hate.

I have a problem with these kind of debates tho.

Unfortunately when we get an idea of God speaking to us as Christians, we tend to go overboard, "over-zealous" could be a nice term.

This happenned alot in the Early Church, from the people who wanted to be "good christians" and follow the old jewish law (judaisers) to the people who had great spiritual gifts in Corinth, to before the church in Judaism, the Pharisees who sought too reform and purify the Jewish people...

Indeed this seems to have happenned down the whole history of the Church, when one group of Christians took up and placed a particular idea or doctrine, or teaching or attribute of God above another...

Every time God speaks and we think we hear Him, when he revelas a new truth to us, we rush out and put it in a box, nail it down, and secure it firmly in our consciousness, so that we can use it as a mark of our own "orthodoxy"... It seems as if somehow we're petrified that the truth that has been revealed to us/we've learned will somehow evaporate unless we "solidify" it into a concept or an idea, or a statement, or a three point sermon...

The thing is, that's not why God reveals things to us. He is much bigger than our thoughts of Him, he reveals things so we can learn more about how amazing He is, not so we can put Him in a box.

I'm afraid that the church is becoming more and more divisive in our opinions, and more and more unwilling to listen to others who disagree with our particular interpretation of lesser things.

Don't get me wrong, I believe to be a Christian, you must agree on the central truth: Christ was born, Christ lived, Christ Died on the Cross, and Christ rose again.

That being the case, what we believe (and interpret) about the rest is important to each of us, but it must only be important in relation to the central truth of the Cross.

The whole Creation V's Evolution debate has gotten out of hand. Christians (from both sides of the debate) are slagging off each other, claiming they know "the truth" and that their "truth" is the only possible interpretation, therfore the other side must be in error, and not properly "Christian". In recent months, I've seen this happen with Steve Chalk's book, the Jerry Springer Opera, Women in Ministry, Worship Styles, The Rapture, AntiChrist, and countless other issues.

I'm not saying I don't have my own personal views on these things; for me to have no views would be to say I didn't engage my faith with my brain! Holding views, even strongly, is not at issue here.

Holding them to the detriment of fellow Christians is.

Paul, speaking in a similar situation to the Christians in Galatia, when he saw "Doctrine" overriding Christlike Love, said this:

14 May I never boast of anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which 'c' the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
( '
c' Or through whom)

(The Holy Bible : New Revised Standard Version. 1996, c1989 (Ga 6:14). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.)

Here's another way of saying it:

14 But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by '2' whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world
( 2 Or which, the cross)

(The New King James Version. 1996, c1982 (Ga 6:13). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.)

Paul knew more about Doctrine than anyone else.

But I think he knew that while Doctrine can contain the truth, Doctrine in and of itself, is not "The Truth" and we should not make it so...

If you've learned something from the Bible... great! If God has revealed something to you about Himself or His Word... great!

Learn from it, and learn how to apply it. Don't MAKE others believe it though, don't nail it down, and use it as a tool to base judgements on.

If you do, you'll have lost the whole point of being given truth.

It's good to think about our faith, and to discuss what it could mean/does mean. Even more so with someone who disagrees with you, as the proverb talks about sharpening each other as we debate. But let's not forget that when we meet Jesus face to face in heaven, whether that's before/after/in spite of The Rapture, The Millenial Reign, etc...

He won't be concerned with these things...

He'll be asking what did you do with Me? Did you believe in Me? Did you do what I told you? These are the things He will be interested in, and maybe that should be a starter for us while we're still here and He hasn't come yet!

Please, please, let's learn to disagree on the peripherals of our faith, (note: strength of belief on an issue does not equal strength of validity!!) and agree on the true "fundamentals" of God becoming Man, and giving up Heaven so he could die and rise and make us like Him.

Let's learn to live like like He asked us to, by loving one another.

How can you hate someone who bows down to wash your feet?!

Fearsome Female... lol

My dad has just admitted to me, that he hides certain food and eats it in secret, away from my mum, because of the diet he's meant to be on...

lol lol lol

The power of the female... it's still there...

(my dad is 57 years old... rofl)

lol lol lol


Yawn...

I'm off to bed.

Nite.

SvcHost.exe???????!

Anyone know what this is???!

Whatever it is, it's making Norton go mad, and creating pop-up windows every three seconds!!!

Aaarrggghh!!!!!!

Karl Marx Got It Wrong...

Celebrity Big Brother IS the opiate of the masses...

Horrible Work...

I hate my job.

And the weekend is over.

That means I have to start a whole new week tommorrow...

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. :-(

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I was talking to Adele (my gf) last nite, and during the conversation, mentioned that now we were going out, she'd have to change her email address...

(her mail address has in it the words 'princess' and 'frog', connected with a certain fairytale... lol)

She very calmly said she couldn't, because I'm not a frog yet, I'm more like a 'Toad-In-Training'...

I think that was a compliment...

This is my impression of me being slightly sozzled... I'm not, but for some reason I look it... notice the impressive double chin as well...

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Believe it or not... this is the back of my head, and it was a very difficult picture to take...! (I have a mohican, which is blonde on purple hair)

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Sunday, January 09, 2005

Sunday... My favourite day...

Believe it or not, it really is.

I get to meet a whole range of different aged people when we meet together, and they become my second family at church.

I get to lead people in worship, and see them get to know God all over again.

I get to chill out, and think deeply about God and His plans for me, and others, and my church.

I get to sleep for a bit in the afternoon.

I get a sunday roast.

All in all, I'm gonna get a lot more than some people are today.

I'm very thankful.

p.s. click on the title of my post to visit my church's website. They're not perfect, and I don't always agree with everything we do or say, but it is my spiritual home, and has been since I was 11! God "turns up", and speaks to me there whenever I give Him chance!




This is Richard, my friend, who I went to the Cinema with, and who beats me into the ground on Star Trek Playstation 2 games... ;) lol

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Saturday, January 08, 2005

Day Off! - YAAAAAAAAY!

That's right.

It's today.

So far, I've slept, got up, showered, chosen the songs for church tommorrow, and listened to music.

Now I'm going to put my contact lenses in and make my hair funky.

Then, I'm going to put the Coffee Machine on, snap away like a Madman, and show you some pictures...

I love days off on the weekend... :-)

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Camera Mad...

I've had a strange delerium grip me today...

(ok so that happens most days... let me finish...)

I've been snapping away all of my lunch time... and here are the results...
(mainly of around the area where my shop is...)

Hold onto ur hats... Central Liverpool is coming to you...

To the left of the pic, the Royal Court Theatre, in the Middle St John's Beacon, (now home to Radio City but used to be a revolving restaurant) to the right of the pic, the Marriott Hotel...

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Another pic of the Park, and the Museum

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The Park in which St George's Hall and The Museum are situated!

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Next to St George's... The Museum...

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The side view...

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Another view of the front of St George's...

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St George's Hall... the front view...

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My sis Ruth, being "dramatic"... *shudders*

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Hmmmm... the humble bannana skin... so simple yet so funny...

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Hearken to this bountiful treasure that is my life: my hair wax!!!

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This is the residence of the aforementioned water shortage...

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Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Today is the start of "pictures of objects at strange angles" week... Here is an ordinary run-of-the-mill cardboard box.... At a strange angle!!! yaaaaaaaaaay!!! :-)

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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

50 Things to do while holding your pee...

  1. knit
  2. cry
  3. laugh
  4. type
  5. cry again
  6. bawl like a baby
  7. regain composure
  8. play x-men 2 on playstation
  9. play lots of loud rock music
  10. mosh
  11. waltz
  12. morris dance
  13. tidy ur sock drawer
  14. untidy ur sock drawer
  15. tidy it again
  16. read shakespeare
  17. listen to vivaldi
  18. laugh manically
  19. phone a friend
  20. breathe (not too deeply)
  21. eat lots of chocolate
  22. dream about harsh cold environments where you have to be a real man, with stubble
  23. think
  24. concentrate
  25. do a silly jig
  26. pretend you have tourettes
  27. pretend you're dead
  28. pretend you're not all there
  29. scream
  30. shout
  31. sing
  32. play guitar
  33. blog
  34. think about God
  35. think about the Girlfriend
  36. think about anything EXCEPT water...
  37. cry again
  38. shout at the water company
  39. scream... (damn mentioned the "w" word...)
  40. mosh again
  41. paint the walls with blood
  42. take a pill
  43. take several pills
  44. hit yourself several times (but not in the stomach)
  45. think about tommorrow and the joy and relief it will bring
  46. think about mashing the water company director's head in with a baseball bat
  47. think of writing a letter of complaint to the Government
  48. Change your shoes
  49. Whistle
  50. cry again

Washing...

I mean...

really...

Is it THAT important?

The Crisis deepens...

This is a News Flash...

The Crisis in number 51 deepens as the women in the Big Nutta house (also known as "Catherine/Mum" and younger sista "Ruth") have all realised at the same time that they can no longer hold their bladders...

Panic and shrieking and screaming ensued, as the Father of the house, (also known as Roy, and "Dad") brought the happy news that the water company have just reported that it could be another further five hours before water supply is restored. Death threats and abusive language towards the water company were then heard, as the above mentioned females realised that there would be no water to not just use the loo before bedtime, but also none to wash in.

The Short One holed up in his room, loftily rises above such pathetic weak considerations as hygiene, and "being clean" as he strokes his stubble thoughtfully. However this scene of aromatic serenity is disturbed when the aforementioned females get the idea of making a chemical loo using the liqueur chocolates with their potential "waste destroying" potency... Hobbit barricades his door as powefully bladder-motivated females hurl themselves, causing grevious harm to the sides of the door...

*break in transmission*...


News Report...

Hour ten in the Big Nutta House, and all is quiet.

It's been ten hours since reports of the local water authority turning off the water because of a leak in the pipe were... well.... leaked.

Still no water has trickled through the house, and cabin fever is starting to seize the inhabitants of Number 51... The Short One is holed up in his room, tryin to "sweat it out" with loud music and Liqueur Chocolates, whilst the rest of the family are hypnotising themselves with crap on TV...

And so this cruel siege goes on...

More reports later...

Nuclear Chocolates!!

They do exist.

Honestly.

In fact, the proof is sitting on my desk right this minute.

To explain....

One of my colleagues gave me some Chocolate Liqueurs for Christmas.

Basically, on tasting them, I think what actually happenned at the factory that made them was this:

Worker 1: I'm bored of this crap, every day boxing these stoopid chocs...
Worker 2: Yeh, know what you mean...
Worker 1: I got an idea!!
Worker 2: Wot?
Worker 1: let's forget all this liscencing crap and jus pour the alchohol straight in and be done with it, let's make these chocs the most potent ever as defiance of our crap working hours... Let's make this an "up yours" statement to the managment, that workers in decades will say to each other, "do you remember when...?"
Worker 2: Nah... let's just do it 'cos it's fun and we're bored of this crap...
Worker 1: Ok then

And that's what happenned.

I bit into one and pure alchohol dribbled down my chin and froze on my stubble. I know it was alchohol 'cos my chin went numb. I had three of the Teachers Scotch Whiskey ones, and five minutes later swore I could see a pig flying past the window an waving, singing "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"....

I was woken up by a beeping noise... Oh yes that's my keyboard keys getting stuck again... but why? Oh...

(raises head from his keyboard)

Man... those chocolates are something else...

Monday, January 03, 2005

Unshaven, Unimpressed, Uncombed and Un-Contact-Lens-Like...

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An alternative view of my Blog... New Age Huh?! ;)

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