Friendship with Women, Childlikeness, Affairs Of All Sorts, Headship and Being A Man!!

Phew!

Ok A LOT to cover here!!

There are A LOT of issues I've been thinking about lately... I blogged previously on one occasion today about my parents being an example... (both negative and positive), and Here are some more issues I've been dwelling on and chewing over in my mind today...

• Freindship With Women - If you're a guy like me, you believed it couldn't exist because you know most of the close freindships you have with the female of the species involve flirting at some point. While this may be fun, it certainly is uneccesary really, although generally harmless, flirting with a girl who's a freind, can be a man's way of avoiding intimacy on a certain level. As guys we are notorious at being terrified of intimacy, even among our own gender, so it's even more difficult to be open and honest with someone of the opposite gender. I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the flirting and stuff with freinds who are girls is just wasting time and can be a symptom of cowardice on the part of a man to be the freind that they need. It's like we flirt so that that can be the only superficial level at which we relate, and it doesn't cost us anything. It involves an abstinence of responsibility towards our sisters in christ, and actually is robbing them of true christlike male freindship, which can be rewarding to both genders, not just fellow males. This fear of being vulnerable needs to be overcome by men ironically if we are ever going to be a source of strength for others!! No, I'm not being prudish, yes we can have a laugh and a joke as part of the freindship, but if that's all it is, it's wasting the other person's time.
• Childlikeness - I've decided that as a man I am mostly Child-ish rather than Child-like. A childish man tends to put his own needs first, is insensitve to others, and is concerned with control in his life, through domination, which ironically is the opposite of women who seek control in their lives through manipulation. Part of being a man in christ I guess is letting go of that need to dominate everything, and instead to do what Jesus did and serve instead. Leadership happens when we serve, that's how Christ leads the Church. It's not through control that Jesus bought us back from sin, it was through giving up his power and control and dying for us. the same should be true of us as men. we should be men who are childlike, who can have an appreciation for the moment, who can see without prejudice, who can love by serving others.
• Affairs don't just happen in a marriage, and aren't just sexual. All of us, everyday can be engaged in an affair whether single or married. We can let something (anything!) get in the way of our Primary Focus of Our Beloved. If we're students, we can let things get in the way of our studies, as employees we can let distractions shift us away from our primary task of serving our employer, as married people we can get distracted from our primary goal - our partner. As children, we can forget our primary relationship with our parents. All of it is technically an affair of our heart. That's why God tells us to guard our hearts, because they're open to an affair at all times!!
• Headship - the husband is head of his wife. This is something I've re-thought lately as I used to be of the opinion that Headship didn't matter because society has changed and both sexes are equal now. While I still believe both sexes are equal, I do believe that both husband and wife have different roles, and each particular role God gives is designed to create submission in that particular gender. Yes, the woman is asked specifically to submit to her husband, but the husband is asked to give his life for his wife, which is another type of submission. The husband is asked to give up control and take on the mantle of self-sacrifice, the wife is asked to give up trying to regain control through manipulation, and to submit. Both are asked to submit, and both are asked to model a part of the gospel story in their marriage: the wife models the Church, the husband models Christ. Headship isn't about who controls finally, it's about who encourages growth in the other, and who sacrifices for the other. If a man lived out the Headship that Jesus demonstrated/demonstrates of the Church today, a woman would have no problem submitting to a man who truly wanted to put them first. The man is the Head, but his headship is meant to relect Jesus' Headship of the Church, which wasn't about domination and control.
• Being A Man - ultimately, it's about taking responsibility. Responsibility for yourself, your wife, your children and others. It's about including others in your decision-making, not being afraid to ask for advice on subjects you know nothing about, living in a way that is open and encourages discussion and input from others. Being a true man is about enabling power in others, not grasping it selfishly for yourself.

Those are some of the thoughts I have been having over the last few weeks, and they are mine!! You have permission to disagree and tear them apart bit by bit, but they are mine!! lol