Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, conveys my thoughts, emotions and feelings more perfectly than an acoustic guitar in my hands....
Thanks Lord for giving me this ability, I would, actually, die without it.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Is the following:
- "Damien Rice" by Damien Rice;
- "Call Off The Search" by Katie Melua;
- "TwentySomething" by Jamie Cullum
These have all been on repeat today, and have contributed to my aggressively relaxed and mellow mood... (lol talk about mixing verbs!)
There's nothing better than listening to these albums while reading or pondering, sitting IN my couch... (it's the type of leather couch you sit IN not On! hehe)
My room is fab, and I love it.
Scribbled by Jm at 8:08 pm
Or somethinng like that anyway.
In case you hadnt noticed, I changed my blog!
I'd decided that clutter is the enemy of life and creativity. (ok, so I just made that up)
I'd got a bit bored with it, and decided it was looking a bit depressing, and as that has generally been my mood for the past 2 weeks, I thought I'd change it.
Bravenet haters will be pleased to see that all the pop-ups have gone, this wasn't deliberate, I just forgot that when you change the template, all the "added bits" get changed aswell!! Lol Oops! I couldn't resist putting the music video back again tho, sorry Jonny, music is my life, and I like the fact I can keep changing and varying the styles. Besides, the darkness make me laugh, and I need to do that at the moment, so there.
I must say my Easter has definitely been less appealing due to the abscence of two major characters of influence in the blogging world... Sven and Jonny.
Come back, all is forgiven!!
Anyweay, you're not allowed to have a social life, those of us who helplessly hang on your every spoken (actually technically "typed") word will revolt soon I think.
Can't think what to write, will have to peruse more blogs.
An observation from someone quiet:
VJ and Therese have very interesting lives. (sorry Therese I've forgotten how to do the accents again)
Don't know what to write, I think I'll go and read...
Scribbled by Jm at 7:57 pm
Ok, so I know people around the world are wanting to know what I did over Easter, so I'll let the thousands of people waiting in anticipation with baited breath know...
Went to our Good Friday service at church, arrived very early on purpose so I was the one to open up, and be the only one there, because I wanted some quiet before people started coming. Had had a bad week and wanted some time with God in the quiet. Thankfully I got it.
The service went well, I sang a duet, and let rip on some harmonies, even though I was nervous and had a sore throat, that went really well.
One of my friends from church, (Pete of "Curry Night" fame) told me he hadnt seen me all week, and wanted to take me out for lunch his shout, which was a brilliant surprise!! That's a friend for you. :-) We went to the pub and had lunch, and since it was a lovely gorgeous day, and the sun was out, we sat in the beer garden and chatted for about two hours, about me and adele splitting up, and how him and his girlfriend are getting on really well, and we got very deep in talking about how hard it was to follow God. It was really good to unload on someone, he's been a good mate to me.
We left the pub about 3-30, and I couldn't resist showing him my newly decorated room! Lol he said he was really jealous of the couch, and it's inspired him to decorate his now!! Lol classic comment from Pete looking round my room was: "hey, you've got a bookshelf, Chicks dig guys who read!!" Lol lol lol
Said bye to Pete, and carried on typing up powerpoint presentation for church on Sun night. (my own idea, following the last week of Jesus life through images and narration, and songs) Got fed up and bog-eyed at about 7, and my bro invited me to the cinema with his mate and his mate's girlfriend. We watched Hitch, which was very funny, but probably not the most helpful film to watch after a break-up!! Afterwards we went to Pizza Hut and ended up giggling at silly things me and my bro used to do when we were little!! :-) Was good to have a laugh with him. :-)
Came back and carried on typing up powerpoint. Went to bed at 12.
Got up for work at 7. Felt knackered. Really Depressed. Didn't want to be in work at all. Really quiet day in the shop, got bored. Kept thinking about Adele all day. Then her dad suddenly came in, totally unexpected, and to my shame, I couldn't handle it, was very unprofessional and went upstairs into the office, and left Rachel to serve him. He actually smiled and said hello, so I guess he's not that bothered that we broke up, probably relieved I guess.
Spent the rest of the afternoon moping around. Suddenly realised at 2, that I was meant to be doing the radio show that night, and also realised my co-presenter wasn't there, so I'd have to do it on my own!! Hurriedly whizzed round the shop, and borrowed all the cd's, and put a very rough schedule together. Rang the studio to check it was still on... unfortunately it was a Yes!
Finished work, rushed home to edit some jingles on my computer, and got my bro to give me a lift to the studio. Only had an hour to get there, and even with directions, we got lost and had to ring the studio... lol. Got there with half an hour to spare, and sat down and wrote out a proper schedule. Nearly wet myself before I went on air, realising that I'd have to be funny on my own!! Lol it went alright in the end, the two hours whizzed by!! Baz, (my co-presenter who couldn't make it) decided to keep ringing in using different voices to say it was rubbish... Lol Had a bit of banter on air, and played a few insulting tracks dedicated to him!! Finished at 10, switched over to overnight broadcast, and got a lift home with Ken.
Carried on with Powerpoint, starting to slightly panic it wouldn't be finished in time. Realised at 1am, that the clocks went forward, and it was actually 2 am!!! Panicked and went to bed! Lol
Had to get up early cos it was a Baptismal service at church, and all members of the music group had to be there early. Was even more knackered than the previous day! The service was brilliant, two young lads were baptised, one of them was my friend Richard, who I've talked about on here before. Was really encouraged by the service, the message was focused on mary, and how she couldn't see the fact that Jesus was alive and right in front of her, but when He called her name she knew. The message was actually for Christians, and it was really challenging. Will related the baptisms to the message, saying that one of the proofs that Jesus is alive was the fact that he'd changed the lives of both of the people who'd got baptised, and theirs lives and the stand they were making that day was the proof. :-)
Rushed home, and carried on with powerpoint, was starting to panic it wouldn't be done in time!! Finished it at 3:30, 20 mins before Graeme (the bassist in the band) came to pick me up for church!! People had stayed behind after the service to set up the lighting, and the massive screen, etc, so that was all done and ready when I got there. It wasn't starting till 6:30 but we wanted a run-through and soundcheck beforehand. The problem was, all everything was set up, no-one had remembered to bring the laptop!! Couldn't get hold of Will till 5:30, and he eventually got the laptop to church for 6:15!!! Talk about a close call!!!!
Lots of things went wrong beforehand, as they usually do, like the pianist rushing his kid off to alderhey hospital with a chest infection. (he's ok now I think) That meant he couldn't make the final soundcheck, and he was a bit worried about his kid when he got there. It went absolutely brilliantly in the end though, it was an hour and a half in total, and all the images/narration went brilliantly. People really got involved in the worship side of it, and the images helped them to think through how the week had effected Jesus. It was very moving in the end.
I had to sing a solo called "This Is Love" during the crucifixion part, and was really worried, but when it came to it, hearing the narration spoken out that I'd written down really inspired me, and I belted that song out like it was life or death!! (in a good way! Lol) The evning ended, and loads of people were affected by it, and I was really encouraged that yes, God can use me in this church, even though Im so depressed most of the time, and insecure about my voice, my guitar playing, my powerpoint skills!!! God really used all of the band, and the narrators, and the sound guys and everyone. he really spoke clearly through it, and I feel really privelleged that God would choose to speak through it.
Got home elated. Spoke to my friend on msn who I'd seen at church, but hadn't had much of a chance to talk to. She's going through a horrendous time at the moment, and it was good for the chance to talk. My problems seem insignificant in comparison to hers. (her mum has just been diagnosed with a brain tumour and it's secondary cancer) Chatted for about an hour and 20 mins, then had a coffee, and went on msn again to my mate Jaki. talked and tried to get an audio conversation going, but msn was having none of it! Gave up trying to make the mics work, and went to bed about 2 am... AGAIN!!
wanted to sleep in, but woke up at 9:30, from a really bad dream. Dreamt that Adele had been cheating on me with my brother, for some wierd reason, am half wondering whether it was an attack. That sounds really super-spiritual I know, but God has encouraged me so much this weekend, that I'm wondering if it's a coincidence.
Made myself a milky coffee, and watched two old episodes of friends and giggled alot. (the one where Joey finds out about Chandler and Monica being together... Very funny!!!)
Then, watched a bit of T4 with Usher in concert, and got bored!!! Decided to come up here and type out my weekend, with lots of pauses, to think about it!!
Overall a very good weekend, a bit emotionally mixed, but in the end, God Is Good. (I know that's something that cheesy american evangelists like to say alot, but I meant in a real northern way... Lol)
Off to get a shower now, Im sweaty and tired after all that typing!!!
Scribbled by Jm at 2:02 pm
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Ok this isn't interesting to anybody but me, but since I'm mentally and emotionally unstable at the moment, it's up to me what I put on here.
Some pics of my newly decorated room... from green to taupe!
(still have to finish it by painting the radiator from blue to whiite)
here come the pics.....
Scribbled by Jm at 10:36 pm
I don't really have any words at the moment.
Adele and I are definitely over, and it's due to my intensity, and over possesiveness. It ended horribly, and although she was one of my best friends, she doesn't want any contact now at all. On top of the break-up, for some reason all the old feelings from my past two engagements breaking up came back to haunt me, and I couldnt cope. All this happenned last night, and I spent four hours uncontrollably crying, I had some sort of mini-breakdown.
I've been lonely most of my life to be honest, that sounds melodramatic, but it is the truth. I've not really had many friends, which means when I do get into a relationship with a girl, I tend to go overboard, and get emotionally attatched way too soon, and then burn out the other person's feelings very quickly.
I have an aching, raging need for acceptance from people, and it sometimes drives me a bit mad, and causes me to do unbelievably obsessive and stupid things. I'm so desperate to be like by people, it's stupid.
I spent most of today re-carpeting my room, and making it my space, as it's been the place I've spent most of my time over the past two years. (since the last break up) I've been ridiculously emotional today, I think the split with adele was the tip of the iceberg, and I've probably had depression for a very long time, but not admitted it. My brother was making me laugh, and in the midst of laughing I suddenly started crying, and was afraid I wouldn't stop. I spent lots of time being quiet today, and listening to Damien Rice, which seemed to suit my mood and help today. One of his songs, in the chorus, says:
some things in life may change
and some things they stay the same
there's always time
on my mind
so pass me by
i'll be fine
just give me time
Another song says:
cold cold water surrounds me now
and all i've got is your hand
lord can you hear me now?
or am i lost?
no one's daughter allow me that
and I can't let go of your hand
lord, can you hear me now?
or am i lost?
don’t you know i love you
and I always have
will you come with me?
cold cold water surrounds me now
and all i've got is your hand
lord.. can you hear me?
or am i lost?
i remember it well the first time that i saw
your head ‘round the door
'cause mine stopped working
i remember it well there was wet in your hair
you were stood in the stair and time stopped moving
i want you here tonight
i want you here
'cause i can't believe what i found
i want you here tonight
want you here
nothing is taking me down
i remember it well
taxied out of a storm
to watch you perform
and my ships were sailing
i remember it well
i was stood in your line
and your mouth your mouth your mouth your mind
i want you here tonight
i want you here
'cause i can't believe what i found
i want you here tonight
want you‘cause nothing is taking me down
‘cept you my love..
come all ye lost
dive into moss
i hope that my sanity covers the cost
to remove the stain of my love
come all ye reborn
blow off my horn
i'm driving real hard
this is love this is porn
god would forgive me
but i.. i whip myself scorn scorn
i wanna hear
what you have to say about me
hear if you're gonna live without me
hear what you want
i remember december
and I wanna hear
what you have to say about me
hear if you're gonna live without me
i wanna hear
what you want
what the hell do you want?
These songs go part of the way to explain how I feel. All I seem to get in life is hurt, whatever I do. Yeh i've had happy times, but they've always been overshadowed by darker memories of hurts that keep happenning.
I wish, just for once, that something would go right, would work out, whether it's my r'ships, my job, my music, whatever.
Just something, anything.
Scribbled by Jm at 10:18 pm
Sunday, March 20, 2005
I'm in a pondering mood today.
The panic over possibly jeopardising a relationship I really want, has calmed to a peaceful depression now, and I find myself becoming a bit inward looking at the moment.
Today in church we finished off the series on the Beattitudes that we've been looking at since September. (Yes, September!!) I've got an awful lot out of it, too much to go into now, otherwise this post would be at least ten pages long... (Don't worry reader I really won't!)
Today we looked at Luke 6:43 -49:
?21? “?Not everyone who says to Me, ?r?‘?Lord, Lord,?’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who ?s?does the will of My Father in heaven. ?22? Many will say to Me in that day, ‘?Lord, Lord, have we ?t?not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name??’ ?23? And ?u?then I will declare to them, ‘?I never knew you; ?v?depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!?’
Parable of the Two Builders
?24? “?Therefore ?w?whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: ?25? and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.
?26? “?But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: ?27? and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.?”
r ?Hos. 8:2?; ?Matt. 25:11?; ?Luke 6:46?; ?Acts 19:13?
s ?Rom. 2:13?; ?James 1:22?
t ?Num. 24:4?
u ?Matt. 25:12?; ?Luke 13:25?; [?2 Tim. 2:19?]
v ?Ps. 5:5?; ?6:8?; [?Matt. 25:41?]; ?Luke 13:27?
w ?Matt. 7:24–27?; ?Luke 6:47–49?
The New King James Version. 1996, c1982 (Mt 7:21). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.
Jesus is talking about the two builders, and Will made a brilliant point that opened up the whole passage in a way I'd never thought about before. When Jesus told this parable, he was talking to people who were already following him.
I've always totally missed this. We tend to talk about the wise and foolish builders as a picture of the Christian and Non-Christian. The Christian builds his house on the Rock, and the (in our view) silly Non-Christian builds their house on sand. This in fact, is not what Jesus was emphasizing at all!! He was already talking to people who'd made a decision to follow him, in fact this whole part of his sermon was to ask people HOW they were following him, not IF they were.
As a Christian who's been brought up in the church, I tend to have heard all the sermons before, all the themes, all the point-by-point exegesis (if you want to use the big word!) of each passage, so much so, that the central simple yet profound point loses it's message.
Jesus was saying that as followers of him we need to decide how we will follow him. It's like he's asking the question "What's the essence of following me?". He answers that before he tells the parable by saying that's it not whether we know Him that counts as much as if He knows us. Jesus seems to be saying that following him is about hearing what he says and doing it.
Scribbled by Jm at 2:52 pm
Saturday, March 19, 2005
I wonder if it's possible?
If it was, I'd be quite tempted to go for it at the moment. I'm sitting here moody and vengeful in my black hoody, unshaven, wanting the world to swallow me up, and wondering how on earth I ever managed to get adele originally in the first place.
I know this is getting boring if anyone is reading this out there, but I am an idiot. I really don't know why I thought it would be in my best interests to end a relationship that was working, even if at a distance. My own stupidity and gift for opening my mouth and pointless words coming out amazes me sometimes. Yes I did miss her, yes I did want to see her more than once a month, yes I did write a lot of letters, but why, WHY did I think it wasn't worth pursuing in that split second during the meal on tuesday night? WHY did I then feel I had to stupidly carry on with my comments because my male pride wouldn't let me admit it was a mistake making them in the first place?! WHY did I think that not being with her at all was better than once a month?!
The only explanation is that I'm an idiot, and couldn't see what I had when it was right in front of me.
I don't blame her when she says she needs "time and space to think", I would too, if an idiot who couldn't make up her mind kept playing with my emotions. I'm so so sorry for what I said, but only in the end because it affects me.
That's how truly selfish I am.
She is probably better off without me, and that's the decision I think she's going to come to, so I'm preparing myself for the worst. It's just such a stupid way to end a relationship, but I've managed to do it. I'm a complete and utter a******e.
I wish she was here so I could tell her how great she is, and how stupid I've been, but I don't think I'm gonna get the chance.
Like I said, I don't blame her.
Scribbled by Jm at 12:40 am
Friday, March 18, 2005
Don't know what to write.
I'm so depressed even a sunny day doesn't lift my mood.
I wish I'd never opened my stupid, stupid mouth on Tuesday night.
I wish God had made me different to the stupid, intense, emotionally retarded, feelings-based person that I am.
I wish she'd call.
Scribbled by Jm at 3:33 pm
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I broke up with adele on tues nite.
I've just realised it was the dumbest thing I've EVER done.
I've left two messages, I hope she gets them and can forgive me for being such a major pratt.
I'm so stupid.
I've not slept properly since tuesday, and not eaten anything till dinnertime today.
Im such a pratt.
Scribbled by Jm at 7:00 pm
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
I'm coming home on the coach today.
Adele and I split up last night.
Although it was mutual, I should have saidsomething sooner.
She's doing such a great work where she is, and I knowGod's gonna use her loads.
I told her last night that I thought she was too busy for a boyfriend, but she needed me as a friend. I kinda knew this was gonna happen but it still doesn't prepare you.
I feel like I've just won the lottery and then given it all away.
She's so special. I told her that whoever she eventually goes for will be a very lucky man. I'm completely gutted. As I get older, I keep learning that God has to be all I need, He has to be enough in all circumstances.
It's a very hard lesson to learn, but she couldn't progress in what God was doing in her life until I stepped out of the picture.
It's not that I was getting in her way, rather that it was something I needed to do. I didn't tell her my true feelings for her, because I love very easily, and would have come across as a physcho.
I'm gonna cry alot on the coach home this afternoon.
Scribbled by Jm at 11:30 am
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
It's Tuesday, and I'm sitting in my mate Ian's office, typing this out feeling a bit miserable.
So far, the weekend has been a bit of a worthless excercise for me personally.
I picked up an identical bag to mine on Friday night, and spent the next four days waiting for the other person to realise they had my bag. This meant I had to traipse around in one set of clothes till yesterday, I popped into Victoria on the offchance they'd had my bag handed in, and they helpfully pointed out it had been received on Sunday, but that they'd lost the contact details I'd left!!
Other miserable points this weekend:
One of my friends is in a dark place this weekend. Her mum has just been diagnosed with two brain tumours. This is kind of the last straw, as she already had breast cancer a few years ago, and at the moment she's been struggling with chronic lung disease. (She's been a smoker for years and never been able to stop).
My friend is obviously really upset at the moment, and as soon as I get back, I'm gonna try and visit her. There's not treally much to say, but I hope being there / hugs / strong tea / a shoulder to cry on will be enough.
Adele has been really really busy with church stuff, and I've only spent three hours in total with her, and we've not really had any quality time together. It wasn't her fault, and I certainly don't blame her, but it is frustrating when you come down to see someone, and then don't get the chance!!
Also, she's been offered a full time job at the church she's doing her gap year at, since she's impressed them so much. It's quite a responsible position for someone her age, (she'd kill me if she knew I'd said that! lol) She asked me what I thought about it, and I knew I had two available options:
1. be completely selfish and tell her to ignore the opportunity and apply for the Birmingham job, because it's nearer to me, and easier to travel to; or
2. recognize what God is doing in her life at the moment, and choose to encourage that, rather than stand in the way...
I HATE being a nice guy sometimes.
Needless to say, I chose the only option available. Sometimes following God means you have to sacrifice things that you want yourself to fulfill God's plan in other people's lives.
I'm really worried, as we're both so far away from each other, and she's so busy. I have no plans to move down to London, and couldn't even consider it financially at the moment. Not that I have a job to go to anyway!! I'm a little miserable about it all at the moment, although I obviously haven't shared this with her, as it's not my job to discourage, but to encourage her to be everytging she can be. It's an amazing opportunity, and one in which I think she'll excell, and grow. I see gifts in her and opportunities she has, that I never had, and I see a lot of potential in her work with children and young people. She has the motivation and the drive to run a youthwork ministry, and if she could just get more confidence in her own abilitoies, and see herself as I see her, then I think she'll really impact that area with her church.
As for me, I haven't a clue what God wants from me. I'm a bit jealous that God's leading is so obvious for her at the moment, but I guess that's life. I don't know how this is all going to work out, or whether it even will, but I guess that's where faith comes in. To trust when you don't know, to believe in a path when all you see is wilderness.
I'm signing off now, and I'm gonna try and get lost in London while Ian and Adele are in work!! Adele and I are going to see a show tonight, no idea what, but it's meant to be a surprise! It should be good, our tastes are quitre similar, and she's got really good taste.
Au Revoir my lovelies!!
Scribbled by Jm at 11:11 am
Friday, March 11, 2005
Well, this is it.
I've finally managed to put finger to keyboard and actually type something!
Strange that work has been so quiet during the day, but social/church life has been so full!! I guess you get weeks like that every once in a while. Anyways, needless to say I've had a busy week, which is about to get a WHOLE lot better!!
I go to work tomorrow with a bigger bag than usual, not because I've suddenly become vain, (I've always been that silly!) but because I'm finishing work at 5, (half an hour early- my employer is so generous!) so that I can get to the coach station for 5:30...
And where might you be going? I hear you ask...
Off to London of course!! And not just for the weekend! Thanks to my hard-working tireless attitude to customer service, (!) I have earned myself a week off work!! I'm therefore going down to London to stay with my mate Ian, and also spend some time with my gf! Work will no longer be in my thoughts as of 4:50pm tommorrow, and "holiday mode" shall begin, with many up-turnings of the corner muscles of my mouth, and happy little sighs of relief as I leave the shop and all its pressures and concerns behind me!!
Im off to London till Wednesday, then coming back and doing some admin stuff for my church on Thurs and Frid, then hopefully fitting a new carpet a week on saturday!! Ah, it's going to be a full and delightfull week, and THIS TIME, I will remembere to bring my battery charger with me, so I can charge the batteries so I can take PICTURES!!!!
Ian and Adele will be at work during the day on Mon and Tues, but I will spend the time reading/catching up on sleep/planning my kids mission theme for August/sightseeing/taking pictures/talking to God alot/thinking deeply, so I will not even notice the time going by!!
Am really excited.
I might blog while I'm away if I can get to an internet cafe, (surely they have those in London of all places?! Don't they?!) but I'm not promising...
Until then, Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Scribbled by Jm at 12:15 am
Sunday, March 06, 2005
So, it's a Saturday night, and you're stuck in on your own again, as usual, with your gf hundreds of miles away, and nothing really that good on tv.
What do you do?!
You relive your teenage years by listening to all your old CD's!!!
I've started my evening off by listening to "The Best Of Hue and Cry", released in 1993.
Starting track to the compilation is one of their most well-known: "Labour Of Love". The last track is a 12" remix of it, and both are great!! Ah, the sweet vocal melodies and funky sounds of the kane brothers!!! They were outstanding in their time, I have to say. I was 13 years old when Labour of Love was released, and actually bought it as part of "NOW VOL 10", later that year, which also featured that famous christmas song by Kirsty Mcall and The Pogues... (surely you must know the one I mean!! Hehe) Anyway, back to Hue and Cry. Greg Kane had such an amazing voice, he could vocally soar between sinatra-like smoothness and pop-power. Some of their live ballads were truly tear-jerking, he had an amazing ability to connect with an audience with just his voice. There are MANY great tracks on this Best Of, I will type my memories associated with these:
"Looking For Linda"
I first heard this when they released it as a single in 1988. We'd moved to Liverpool two years before, and I was still making friends and getting used to my new school. (I'd moved halfway through 1st year, or Year 7, as they like to call it now) I was watching Live and Kicking, on a Saturday morning with Phillip Scholfield and Sarah Greene. (remember that show? lol) I was still only thirteen, and was enthralled to hear the story behind the song. Apparently, at the time they said it was based on a true story about a girl called Linda he'd met on a train from Glasgow, instantly "clicked" with, and never saw again. Very romantic, and full of myth. I actually think now that they may have made that story up to sell the song, but it worked!! lol in my innocent, and naive teenage years, I bought it hook, line and sinker. lol (I'm glad to say, despite what life has dealt me in the past, I'm still a romantic at heart!! - Hence me loving this album now... lol)
"Violently (your words hit me)"
This song is again very romantic, talking about a man being transformed by falling in love. Whether it's with God in a spiritual sense, or a woman, you can't actually tell, because the lyrics could be taken either way. Some of the lyrics talk about the person before they encountered this transforming love, being bitter and cold, and suddenly being changed in their encounter with a transforming love. Great stuff. The melodies are superb as well!
In the lyrics, the singer asks for a Love/Vision/Plan that's "...bigger than me..." This was very inspirational to me when I was younger. At the time I was still doing the growing up thing, and the world looked a very frightening place to a pastors kid who was very naive, and very out of touch with his peers. I came from a very different background to everybody else, since 99.9% of my school weren't christians, and didn't really understand what one was, or what the point of church was. Admitting you went to church on a Sunday, was like confessing you had two heads, had been born to aliens, ate poo for breakfast, and washed with a wet kipper everyday!! People just didn't get it. Most of my school years were spent in the company of people who constantly made fun of me, and the way I lived, and the values of my parents. I find it ironic now that they actually made my faith in God stronger, and the adversity /opposition convinced me in a way that no other way could that God was real and loved me. All through senior school I had "friends" who talked behind my back and made fun of me, but who I still put up with, because there was no one else. I'm actually glad of all that now though, because it gave me the grounding I needed to carry on being a Christian in the face of opposition. Anyway, this song reminds me of that time in my life for some reason.
Actually, I'm not gonna write about the other songs, I'll give far too much away about my past and my teenage years!! lol
I'll leave it here for now!!
Scribbled by Jm at 12:22 am
Friday, March 04, 2005
It's not been invented yet, silly!
Scribbled by Jm at 12:49 am
Ok, so 12 years is a big age gap.
She doesn't want to get too intense too soon, but wants me to give her lots of post, cos it makes her feel wanted. Check.
She likes to be surprised, but don't spring anything too shocking on her. Check.
She kisses me like there's no tommorrow when she sees me, yet we can spend weeks apart with a few letters and occasional phone calls....
I'm so frustrated at the moment I could scream!!
I really like this woman, but she is driving me INSANE I tell you!!!!
Grrrrr long distance r'ships SUCK, BIG TIME!!!
She wants to take it slow, but keeps telling me that she misses me... Grrrr
I AM going to go and hit myself in the face with a VERY LARGE, SMELLY, WET, HADDOCK!!
Scribbled by Jm at 12:44 am
The species known as "woman".
A Complete, Unfathomable, Mystery.
Able to change her mind, clothes and shoes at random, in a split second.
Able to confuse a guy with two completely opposing statements in one sentence.
Has the ability to frustrate a guy (I mean in terms of understanding!) within one short conversation.
Has the ability to make a guy tie himself in knots trying to understand what she wants.
Scribbled by Jm at 12:22 am
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
It's Wednesday, and I'm off!!
Having said that, I've got lot's of work to do, but I can do it at my own pace, which is cool.
I've been continuing my planning for the music event at my church on Easter Sunday night. It's called "The Road To The Cross", and it's worship songs and 2 performance pieces interspersed with thoughts from Max Lucado's book "And The Angels Were Silent", which looks at the last week of Jesus' life, the people he met, and the things he said and did, and how we should reflect those same attitudes as his followers.
It's taking ages to put together, as I'm trying to match the songs with the theme for each day that's covered in Holy Week!! It's only a small thought between each song, but I think they're quite deep, and do hit home. I've got to try and fit it all into just over an hour, so it's a bit of a tough call!! At least it only covers Sunday to Tuesday, and thursday to Friday and then Sunday!! The bible is quiet at what Jesus did on Wednesday of that week, and without wishing to sound irreverant, I'm glad!!! :-) lol
That basically means for the last few weeks I've been a literary editor, a music programmer, a worship leader, a powerpoint expert and a Bible scholar all rolled into one!! How's that for a tough job?! lol
Me and my ideas....
Scribbled by Jm at 2:27 pm