Out With The Old, In With The New?!

It's a common theme for me these days.

Whether it be with work, my spiritual journey, or my relationships with the people I love, at the moment I'm being constantly called to renew things.

Whether it's a new renewal of my commitment after being away for two weeks to make my shop as successful in spiritual things as I can; or a committment to make my relationship and forthcoming marriage to Megan as strong as it can be; or a commitment to knuckle down and find out what God really wants for my life and be the disciple He wants me to be; frequently at the moment I feel a desire to set out on roads I've not gone down before, and it's scary and exciting all at the same time.

I've been in my new role at work for a little over three months now, and I feel like I'm only just scratching the surface in terms of the changes I want to make and the impact I want the shop to have in local ministries and in being a resource centre for the Church as a whole.

I've got plans, but plans, as we kinow, take time to develop and build, and I'm finding that frustrating, because I'm such an impatient person. My dad always tells me about when he goes as Pastor to a new church, he waits a few months to see how it operates, and only when he sees how things tick after a while, does he make suggestions of change. It's very wise advice, though not entirely the same situation, since the shop isn't new to me, and therin lies my frustration. I need to see it with fresh eyes, to have a vision for what it could be and not just what it is now.

I guess I could say the same in my relationship too. There's alot of frustration there too. Not with Meg, but rather with being separated from her by such a vast distance of ocean. With being so near on the end of a phone every night, but yet so very far away. With all the stuff we still have to do connected with the visa for her, and there's only four and a half months left!!

I'm living with frustration in where I am on my journey with God. I feel like there's so much more I need to learn and grow in, and so much more I could be doing at the moment, but so little time I have to do it in. I just don't want to be one of those people who look back in twenty or thirty years time and say "if only" over and over again. I want to see God do amazing things NOW.

That's my problem.

Impatience.

I guess we all live with it to some degree, but I'm reaching my threshold at the moment, and I think God is purposefully allowing me to live at this level of impatience so I'll learn to trust in His Sovereignty more, and stop trying to make a go of things and solve things myself.

So, welcome to the place I live, it's called Limbo! The space between faith and fear, between hope and despair, between courage and cowardice. I feel the challenge constantly at the moment, do you?