Aggggggggggggh!!!

Dear sir/madam/stupid person,

When I am speaking on the phone, to you, my customer/supplier/warehouse operative/customer services representative/customer,* (* = delete as appropriate)
PLEASE listen carefully to my verbal introduction.

If I say "it's John-Mark from (company) " , I mean the person calling you is called John-Mark. It is NOT John, or Mr. Mark, or even Mark, or John Marr, it is JOHN-MARK!!!

It may have escaped your notice but most people when speaking on the phone use their first name, and not their christian name AND surname... When I say John-Mark, that is my FIRST name!!! I realise it is somewhat unusual in britain, and even in Liverpool to have a hyphenated first name, but it does happen. Please listen carefully and think before you respond to my question or query.

Please get this right, otherwise I will have to come round to wherever you are and chop your kneecaps off, and change your name by deed poll overnight without your knowledge to hilda ramsbottom, or cecil blightley. Then see how you like having a name that people either get wrong or poke fun at.

Yours, in-severe-frustration-at-the-stupidity-of-people-to-get-a-name-right,

John-Mark Cullen.

p.s. I am not french either, so please do not spell my name the french way.

Thank you.