I'm at my lowest point today, feeling worthless.
I'm having a bad day mood wise, struggling with my feelings.
Just now a customer who I talk to and serve in the shop regularly has shared her testimony.
She was high on cocaine and drink, and apparently I had a conversation with her, (I don't remember) and talked to her about God.
This all happenned three years ago, and she went back to a church because of the conversation we had. Her three kids are in foster homes, but she gets to see them regularly, and the youngest is a christian and has an amazing healing testimony.
I really don't know what to say, I'm over whelemed at the moment. I don't even remember talking to her, but she's adamant.
I'm going to go and cry for a bit now.
(I'm on my lunch and feel the need! lol)
God is good!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I'm at my lowest point today, feeling worthless.
Scribbled by Jm at 1:15 pm
Monday, May 30, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
It seems to me, that this is what the Bible (in many different ways) essentially uses to convey truth. I've done alot of thinking lately about the words 'inherent' and 'innerant'. Those of you more knowledgable than me will recognize the line of thinking I'm stumbling down at the moment, somewhat haphazardly.
It seems to me (admittedly in a novice way) that we as 21st century christians get caught up in the whole idea of science v's faith, this world v's otherworldly, natural v's supernatural, body v's soul, and other unhelpful distinctions that arise, I think from platonic, dualistic (as in the greek philosopher) ideals and suggestions.
The whole central issue for creationists in my opinion seems to hang around how you view the concept of 'truth'. Does truth always have to be in a literal sense, or can ideas, and particularly the vehicle of 'story' convey truth in a way that is just as meaningful while not neccesarily being 'literally' true? (I know I'm mixing concepts here, but it's difficult to put into words - it is for me anyway) C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien both stated that Christianity was "the only true myth", I think I know what they mean by that, but how should that affect our thinking?
I'm not claiming to have any answers on anything, but these are questions that I used to ask at uni during my degree, that I buried and have now re-surfaced.
Where do you draw the line in interpreting the Bible? What model or tool of interpretation can you use to decide whether something is 'literally' true or not? I know lot's of Chtistians who interpret Genesis and Revelation as literally and chronologically and historically true. At the same time, I know an equal amount who don't. Who's correct? And, in deciding to use the word 'correct', or 'right', am I already making a personal judgement call instead of looking at the evidence?
Where does context and circumstance fit in? What about original intended listeners? What about historical and cultural background? If we agree the Bible wasn't dictated by God, but that the Holy Spirit inspired these various writers during the course of their writing, shouldn't all the above things matter when interpreting passages?
I really don't know the answers to any of this, but I'm finding it exciting puzzling over them.
Has anyone got any suggestions?
Scribbled by Jm at 6:02 pm
Monday, May 23, 2005
The Bible says that "perfect love casts out fear".
Many of us don't really live that, or ever come to fully understand a life without fear or limits, because of the depressing, soul destroying world of false ego that we live in, that encourages us to "better ourselves" at the expense of something much more important: our walk with God, and our concept of Him. Many of us live a life imprisoned in the opinions of others, living a "nice life" wanting to please everybody because deep down, we can't stand not to be liked.
The Christian life was meant to be about getting lost in the wild and untamed countryside of faith, a radical trust in God to provide and guide for our footsteps, but we've turned it into a trip to the park once a week, where we ponder a few "life-changing" platitudes, look at the "map" for some solid "certainty", and then saunter off to go "back to the real world".
I've been thinking alot about my life lately, and the way in which it has turned out (in many ways) to be a huge dissapointment to me.
In part of my pondering God spoke to me so quietly and powerfully, when a sudden very painful memory of my school days hauntingly came back to me out of nowhere:
There I was, the stereotypical nerdy year 7 kid, (11 yrs old for those who don't know) waiting in the gym for a P.E. (Physical Education) lesson. I hated PE, partly because I wasn't any good at it, but mostly because everyone else knew I wasn't good at it, and made it known, lot's of times. All the other boys were starting puberty, I was what they politely call a "late starter", I even still had a high voice. I was skinny, short, and incredibly shy . I was the one who sat in the corner of the playground reading or daydreaming, the spotty one with the big thick-rimmed glasses. You get the idea.
This particular day our PE teacher, (a very tall and at the time to me, extremely frightening man) decided to teach us the high jump. All the boys lined up in a queue, gym mats were laid out in front and behind of the bar, and each lad had to take it in turns to run up to the bar from an angle, and hurl themselves over onto the safe mats beyond. Each boy took their turn, and I waited nervously right till the end, letting every boy take their turn before me.
Then it was my go, I couldn't procrastinate any longer.
I took a deep breath, ran as fast as I could towards the bar.....
And skidded to a stop just before it.
All the other boys burst out laughing, I must admit, looking back, I guess it would've looked funny. The teacher took pity on me, and being a good teacher, lowered the bar a millimetre, enough to look shorter, but in reality not enough for you to really notice. He encouraged me to try again.
That day, I tried four times to jump over the bar, but each time, the inevitable happenned.
I left PE that day totally humiliated. I was 11 yrsold, and I couldn't jump over a bar. I knew the mats were there to break my fall, I knew the teacher would be there if I hurt myself, but still I couldn't do it. A paralysing fear that I never knew was there gripped hold of me so strongly, that it literally stopped me in my tracks.
As I was remembering my feelings of hurt, rejection, shame, self hatred, I heard God speak very clearly. It wasn't in an audible voice, but in the kind of voice that you know is God's: the quiet, heart-breaking whisper of someone who has power but refuses to use it. The kind of voice that seems more breath than substance. It said two words.
I cried at that point, and I still feel myself filling up as I type this. Those two words contain what I've experienced of God in my life so far. They're the same words that a mother whispers to her child when they've hurt themselves, the same words Jesus used talking to churches that were wondering when the horrible pain of persecution would stop, in the opening chapters of Revelation.
I felt at that moment that by dragging that long buried memory up, God was in effect saying "Do you remember that JM? Do you remember the pain, the shame, the rejection?"
"So Do I."
"I was there."
Words pregnant with compassion and meaning, two little words that secretly are what you really want to hear from the person you're closest to the most. Whatever Im feeling, wherever I am in my journey towards Him, that's what I need to hear. In fact that's what his Incarnation tells us. He knows. He's been there.
I haven't blogged much of any worth lately, partly because what I've been reading, dwelling on, thinking about, and pondering, has so impacted my life that I'm still a bit shell-shocked at the moment.
Everything I've ever believed and given my assent to, I'm now questioning. I can't actually put into thoughts what I'm going through at the moment, except to say the God I said I believed in seems small compared to the God I'm now realising exists. I know that sounds very generalistic and mysterious, and for some people who read my blog and have had their own times of struggle, some of the thoughts/ doubts/ questions I've been asking and having won't be that new or controversial. But to me, they're staggering.
I'm also considering a big change in my circumstances at the moment, sorry I can't be more specific than that, but I'll have to wait and see whether events take their course or not. As always, I'm dependant on God. (Just in case people wonder, it's not to do with my MS!)
I feel like I'm that 11 year old boy again, waiting to take the big jump, but fearful not of what lies behind, but actually making the jump itself. At least I know however my views and cicumstances change, God doesn't. He's still the one who watches with compassion and delight over little boys who can't jump...
Scribbled by Jm at 9:07 pm
Friday, May 20, 2005
| You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.|
What is Your World View? (corrected...again)
created with QuizFarm.com
Scribbled by Jm at 4:52 pm
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
I decided to make today Marillion Day in my listening habits.
I recorded all my Marillion Albums to disc, and put them on shuffle. :-)
Go check out their site, have a listen, indulge the audio samples, you'll be surprised at their sonic diversity!! The link is on my Blogroll.
Scribbled by Jm at 6:01 pm
Not blogged for a week!!
Have done quite alot, but not worth writing about really, except:
I Went to Alton Towers on Saturday for a meet-up of people I chat to on ChristianChat.co.uk. (link is on my blogroll) I went on some of the rides, and a gig afterwards along with 4,000 others, set up in the car park. Newsboys, Superchick, The Listening, Supervision, 29th Chapter and other bands were there... It was cool, I had a really good day!! Everyone I met was really nice and nearly normal, (hehe) and I think I've made some good friends. :-)
Unfortunately for me, it was very warm on Saturday, and sunny, and while queueing up for Air, (one of the rides in case you didn't know - one of the most popular, so I had to queue for 2 hours!!!) I got really sunburnt! I forgot to put sun cream on, I catch the sun really easily, 'cos I have sensitive skin... I spent the next day in bed with sunstroke, and my face has since started to blister!! Oh well! My own fault.
This week I've done nothing of importance so far, but I've decided to tidy my room, and do lot's of washing, and sort out all my music in my I-Tunes folder. (ok so that's not a lot, but it is my day off and I can do what I like with it!! lol)
My mum had an operation on her feet on Tuesday, she's had bunions which have gotten steadily worse, so she finally decided to get them dealt with. This involved an operation on both her feet, where they broke the big toe, shaved/sawed off the bunion from the bone, put a pin through the bone to fuse it together and so that it can heal properly, and then sewed it back together!!!
She's not going to be able to walk properly for the next 6 weeks at least, and is walking on her heels at the moment, with the aid of crutches and anyone who's around!! Her feet are in plaster, and heavily bandaged, and she has to wear special sandals over the top. My nan and grandad have come over from n. ireland to stay for a while as she recovers, to help, and also, so she has some company during the day. Within 8 hours of her op, she was home and attempting to walk!!! She's amazing, my Mum. :-)
Also, in another dramatic moment for our family, my brother fell from the cab of his truck on Tuesday night, and injured himself. He's basically got muscle damage to his neck and right arm, and is off work for at least a week. So our house feels like a hospital wing at the moment!! Anyway, I'll write more soon, have to go and do some housework now..... (deep joy!)
Scribbled by Jm at 3:08 pm
Monday, May 09, 2005
I've decided that my blog doesn't have enough pictures, so I've posted a few on here.
Most are from when I was in London at the beginning of March. (pre-split-up with Adele) Haven't posted them 'till now, 'cos they make me a little sad, not that any of them have her in, but still, memories 'an all that....
Most of them are from the main Parks in London, I walked around them for the whole day, and it took me about four hours to do it. It went from really sunny to grey and overcast, to really sunny again, hence the pictures look so different even though they were taken on the same day. In fact, it was Monday the 14th March, because I remember the date for three reasons:
1. It was my two year anniversary of being diagnosed with M.S;
2. It was my brother's birthday;
3. It was the day before I split up with Adele.
So, quite a memorable day really!
The pictures aren't very exciting to be honest, because I take photo's of things I find interesting, not neccesarily anyone else!!
I'll post some more pics when I can be bothered, I have loads!!
(well, what else was I supposed to do on my own for the whole day in London with no money??!)
Scribbled by Jm at 11:06 pm
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Your wise quote is: "Be kind to unkind people,
they probably need it the most" by
You try to look beyond apperance, try to give
people second chances and are probably very
kind. Understanding is your biggest personality
trait, and thoose you can see through should be
grateful. If they aren't already. You detest
narrow minded people, because they can't see
what's really there. Facades is not your thing
and you strive to always be who you really are.
Not sure this is me totally, but it's only a quiz! lol
What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla
Scribbled by Jm at 4:03 pm
Friday, May 06, 2005
A good book, some light jazz in the background, and a leather couch to curl up on to read...
I like my room now.
Well, nothing exciting happenned today, I'm off to Dave and Sarah's tommorrow night, (my brother and his wife) to watch a film, and have some food.
Should be good.
Tonight's been very quiet and bittersweet. Lot's of lonliness mixed in with lot's of "alone-ness".... Strange, painful, but liberating. One more day at work tommorrow, then I'm off. Roll on the weekend!!
It's one of those night's you're glad you're in: it's dark outside, and I can hear the rain pattering against the window, and the wind howling outside. I'm safe, cosy, and warm in my space. The only thing missing is someone to share it with, but that's my own fault.
I wish I hadn't stuffed it up with adele.
Oh well, life moves on and all that.
I'm going to go and carry on reading and chilling out now...
Scribbled by Jm at 12:27 am
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Your Results:The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.
Orthodox Quaker (100%)
Seventh Day Adventist (91%)
Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (89%)
Eastern Orthodox (72%)
Roman Catholic (72%)
Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (70%)
Liberal Quakers (55%)
Orthodox Judaism (51%)
Bahá'í Faith (46%)
Unitarian Universalism (46%)
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (42%)
Reform Judaism (38%)
Jehovah's Witness (36%)
Mahayana Buddhism (33%)
Theravada Buddhism (33%)
New Age (27%)
Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (27%)
Secular Humanism (26%)
New Thought (18%)
Scribbled by Jm at 8:58 am
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
If an englishman'shome is his castle, I've been invaded!!
A spider has just run across my month-old decorated room, and I'm miffed.
I thought the re-decorating/cleaning/dusting/hoovering/general dumping of rubbish out of my room had got rid of all the little blighters...
I HATE them!!
*shiver down his spine*
Below you will find the proof... I managed to get a quick picture of the enemy as he ran in front of me....
Scribbled by Jm at 12:29 am
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Don't know what to call this.
I've had two arguments with Mum and Dad separately already and they've only been in for 5 mins.
I've been eating mainly 3 pieces of fruit and some toast every day for the past two weeks, because I've not felt the need to eat, and consequently have lost quite a bit of weight. (I'm down to 9 stone now) I don't feel motivated to do anything, and Mum and dad are worried because of the weight loss and because Im on my computer in my room all the time. My dad says I need "to get a life". He's completely right of course.
But I can't.
I'm 30 years old and I have no real prospects in my job, I can't form a meaningful relationship because I get serious and obsessive, I'm in debt up to my neck, and I feel a constant tension between loving God and wanting to follow Him, and chucking it all in. At the moment, I can pretend in work and church that everything's fine, but alone in my room, I can be the person I am at the moment.
Even as I'm writing, I can see that I'm "being dramatic" about my situation, there are thousands of people in a worse situation than me. I know this. It doesn't help at all to know these things though.
I'm going to spend another night on the internet, reading other people's blogs and chatting aimlessly on msn, as I do every night.
Scribbled by Jm at 8:53 pm
Monday, May 02, 2005
Is by the author/theologian/thinker Brennan Manning. It's called "The Signature Of Jesus". I've read and re-read it at least ten times, and my copy now has underlinings, scribbles and notes in the margin. Far from being a dusty and dry theologian, wrapped in his secure Ivory Tower, Brennan is a catholic ex-fransciscan monk, who came face to face with Jesus who transformed his life and way of thinking, and who now writes what he discovered. Part of his year he leads retreats, bringing Christians to a place where they can realise the amazing intensity of God's love for them. Here are some of my favourite quotes that have comforted/challenged/broken me over the past year:
(I hope I don't get done for plagiarism!)
"...In contemporary Christianity there is an essential difference between belief and faith. Our religious beliefs are the visible expression of our faith, our personal commitment to the person of Jesus. However, if the Christian beliefs inherited from our family and passed on to us by our church tradition are not grounded in a shattering, life-changing experience of Jesus as the Christ, then the chasm between our credal statements and our faith-experience widens and our witness is worthless. The gospel will persuade no-one unless it has so convicted us that we are transformed by it..."
This quote really impacted me, and cuts me to the heart everytime I read it. I struggle to live it:
"...Again and again Jesus stated that fear is the enemy of life. 'Don't be afraid, just believe' (Luke 8:50) 'Don not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom' (Luke 12:32) 'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid' (Matthew 14:27) Fear breeds a deadening caution, a holding back, a stagnant waiting until people no longer can recall what they are waiting for or saving themselves for. When we fear failure more than we love life, when we are dominated by thoughts of what we might have been rather than by thoughts of what we might become, when we are haunted by the disparity between our ideal self and our real self, when we are tormented by guilt, shame, remorse, and self-condemnation, we deny our faith in the God of Love..."
That hit me like a freight train when I read it, because all of my life I've lived in fear of failure, of vhange, of risk, of opening up, and I still do. Jesus calls me to a new way of life, where I live for Him and let him worry about the details and the consequences. That's where faith (for this read "trust" to avoid confusion) comes in. Brennan writes of faith:
"...We are not travel agents handing out brochures to places we have never visited. We are faith explorers of a country without borders, one we discover little by little not to be a place but a person.Our faith includes our beiefs, but it also transcends them, for the reality of Jesus Christ never can be confined within doctrinal formulations..."
Do I know Jesus as a reality in my life? yes. Do I know that He loves me? yes. Have I realised that love so that is transforms my life, affecting every part of it? No. Here's two things that Brennan wrote on God's Love that made me think:
"...However my past twenty-five years of pastoral experience indicate that the stunning disclosure that God is love has had neglible impact on the majority of Christians and minimal transforming power. The problem seems to be that either we don't know it, or know it but cannot accept it; or we accept it, but are not in touch with it; or we are in touch with it, but do not surrender to it..."
"...The prophets of Israel had revealed the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob in a more intimate and passionate manner. But only Jesus revealed that God is a Father of incomparable tenderness, that if we take all the goodness, wisdom, and compassion of the best mothers and fathers who have ever lived, they would only be a faint shadow of the love and mercy in the heart of the redeeming God..."
I know those two statements are true in my own life. I know that God loves me, but it's only at certain times in my life that I've glimpsed just how MUCH that is. In those times, I've literally been broken by a love for me so powerful that it takes my breath away. That God, the God of the universe, would love me I find staggering after twenty years of being a Christian. It literally reduces me to tears, because no-one in my life has ever loved me like He does. How He can do it, knowing what I'm like, I've no idea, and I'm rendered speechless at the image of a God that is so passionately in love with me, that he will do anything, even go to Hell, and die for me rather than live without me in relationship.
That's a kind of love you can't put into words, more than a lover caring for you, more than a parent looking after you, more than a friend giving their life for you. It's more than all these things, it's undefinable, a quality of love the bible describes as "Agape". It's a love that originates from God, and has no comparison.
And this love, this passion, is directed at me.
Scribbled by Jm at 4:13 pm
I don't understand myself at the moment.
It's a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining, and there's a (semi!) blue sky. One of my friends invited me out to lunch today but I didn't reply.
All I want to do is stay in and surf the internet and read blogs.
I feel really empty at the moment.
There could be tons of things I could do today, but I find myself wasting time, wanting to be alone and feeling miserable, but content. It's not as if I'm having quality "alone time" because I'm not even reading a book, or doing something creative. I'm just sitting in, typing a blog to the black, impersonal, uncaring being that is the internet, and surfing it aimlessly, looking for something that attracts my attention in blogs.
I guess this is a bad combination of depression and my introspective personality. I feel really aimless at the moment, much like the writer of Ecclesiastes. Nothing seems to have purpose or lasting enjoyment at the moment for me. Even typing this out, trying to put my very complex feelings into words is proving a struggle. I find I have so much to say, most of it seems profound to me, and then I immediately forget it, and think "oh well".
I'm seriously strange at the moment. I drift between random thoughts and tears, between happiness and a strange dull numbness and deadness that seems to envelop my thought process in a thick stickiness. I could be anywhere in the world at the monment, with anyone for company, and would still feel the same. My ideal flights of fancy in my imagination don't let me escape anymore.
My life is aimless and drifting at the moment.
I can laugh, I can go and enjoy myself, no-one who knows me would know I was going through all these things. But still, when I come home, and come to my room, my place, my small space of security that wraps me up like a blanket in comfort; when I come back here, the feelings of emptiness and deadness return.
I don't even know why I'm typing this. Am I expecting someone to return a comment that will change my life, that will turn things around miraculously?
I know God. I love Him. That's quite a statement to make, but it is true. I know He has a plan for my life....
Somewhere I can't quite reach or grab hold of yet. Or so it seems.
I keep listening to a song by Chris Tomlin off his album "Arriving":
How Great Is Our God
The splendour of a king, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice
He wraps Himself in light, and darkness tries to hide
And trenbles at his voice, trembles at his voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see how great, how great is our God
And age to age He stands, and time is in His hands
Beginning and the end, beginning and the end
The God head, three in one, Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb, the Lion and the Lamb
You're the Name above all names
You are worthy of all praise
My heart will sing how great is our God
I know the words aren't very complex, but everytime I hear it at the moment, it reassures me that there's a plan out there for my life somewhere. There's someone who knows what He wants from me, who knows why He made me, who has evrything under control, even when I can't see the next step in front of me, or worse when I don't even care.
It just started raining torrentially and I heard a peal of thunder as I was typing this. I'm amazed that the God who causes that is interested in me, in my feelings, my little world that seems to count for nothing at the moment.
I feel so lost, but I know He'll sort this out somehow, and give me motivation.
I hope this hasn't sounded too much like the robot out of Hitchikers that I watched on Saturday!!
Scribbled by Jm at 3:21 pm
font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style='color:white; font-size: 14pt;'
In 1974 (the year you were born)
Gerald Ford becomes president of the US
Hank Aaron hits his 715th home run to beat Babe Ruth's record
Impeachment hearings are opened against President Nixon by the House Judiciary Committee
President Nixon resigns
President Gerald Ford issues an unconditional pardon to ex-President Nixon for all federal crimes
Muhammad Ali knocks out George Foreman in the eighth round to regain the heavyweight crown in Zaire
Heiress Patty Hearst is kidnapped by and eventually joins the Symbionese Liberation Army
Dungeons & Dragons officially released
People magazine is published for the first time
Kate Moss, Alyson Hannigan, Penelope Cruz, Alanis Morissette, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Ryan Seacrest are born
Oakland Athletics win the World Series
Miami Dolphins win Superbowl VIII
Philadelphia Flyers win the Stanley Cup
Blazing Saddles is the top grossing film
All the President's Men by Bernstein and Woodward is published
"Killing Me Softly With His Song" wins Grammy for song of the year
Scribbled by Jm at 1:30 pm
Your #1 Match: ISFJ
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.
Your #2 Match: ISFP
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.
Your #3 Match: INFJ
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.
Your #4 Match: INFP
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.
Your #5 Match: ESFJ
You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.
You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.
Scribbled by Jm at 1:08 pm
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Very original title I know!!
I'm currently sitting at my desk typing this listening to Jamie Cullum, and chilling out for a bit before I go out.
I'm avoiding church today (I know, I'm a heathen...!) because I was supposed to have been going away for the weekend but it didn't work out, so as I'd told them I wouldn't be there to lead, I decided not to go today and have a break.
Yesterday I went with my brother to help his mate Dave (Dave goes to my church even though my brother doesnt go anymore) with stripping wallpaper as he's just bought his first house and is decorating. The three of us got through most of his living room wallpaper in three hours, the steam stripper is really good, it just peeled off in no time! We carried on and did the box room upstairs aswell, and had 2 tea breaks, and a pizza break!! The weather was nice yesterday, but it was warm anyway because of all the steam in the room!! We came out looking like lobsters because we were all so hot!!
Once we'd finished the box room, we decided to call it quits for the day, as that room was the only one with wood chip paper on, which even with a steamer took aaaaaages to get off!! I suggested we go home, freshen up (ok that sounds gay doesn't it - lol) and meet back there and go to the cinema. We went to see Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy, which Dave, Peter (my brother) and I thought was VERY funny, but Rachel (Dave's girlfriend) wasn't impressed with at all. I guess it's mainly a male thing, or if you've read the book.
I slept in this morning, ( :-) ) and me and Pete are about to go off and carry on with some more wallpaper stripping, we're gonna have a go at the hall and stairs today. There's something about doing that kinda work, that you get a great sense of satisfaction after you've finished. I wanted a break from work, church, etc as this month has seemed very long and I've been ill and stressed for most of it. It's been really good to do some physical work that doesn't require much thinking, and spending some time with my brother has been really good, as withhim working nights, even though he lives in the same house, I don't get to see much of him!
It's very warm here today, so I think we'll need plenty of cokes in the fridge today on standby!!! I'd better go, we're supposed to be there for 1pm...
Just to say, I've been thinking loads lately about what is the essence of being a man?, and what does God expect of men?, after I read Wild At Heart, by John Eldridge. It was good, but it disturbed me, because I didn't fit any of the generalisations or stereotypes he was making, and I'm wondering what makes a man a man after reading it. I'll post some of my thoughts later, having had sweated for hours stripping wallpaper!!!
My fave album at the moment is Arriving by Chris Tomlin. Literally it ROCKS, and is all in praise of God. Fantastic!
Bye for now.....
Scribbled by Jm at 1:35 am