What NOT to listen to on your day off....

Smooth FM.

I much preferred it when it was just simply jazz FM.

All I've heard so far all day is love songs, and I've slowly been getting more and more depressed!

Lol I think I'll change stations!

On another note, I feel that all the inaminate metal foodtins in my house are engaged in a consiracy of vengeance against me at the moment.

Look at the evidence:

1. inaminate corned beef tin - tried to open one two weeks ago, and the twirly bit DELIBERATELY SNAPPED ITSELF halfway round, so I ended up having to beat the tin to death with a cup to get the corned beef out of it! First I attempted to use an old fashioned tin opener on the base of the tin, but the tin opener DELIBERATELY bent itself and STUCK itself on the bottom of the now severley twisted tin. Obviously it knew this would now mean any corned beef that came out would be all in bits, making it VERY DIFFICULT to make a sandwhich from. During the process, the tin itself LEAPED out of my hands and BIT ME with it's serrated edge, causing a big cut on my thumb. (it's still healing 2 weeks later!) Much blood and panic ensued, and I SWEAR I could hear the tin laughing....

2. inaminate tuna steak tin - trying to avoid the previous mistake, I thought I'd be safe with a pull-ring tin of Tuna Steak. This should be simple, pull the ring and ease the tuna out I thought....

OH NO!!!

When I pulled back the lid slowly, the tin DELIBERATELY LEAPED out of my hand, depositing a tonn of tuna oil all over my T-Shirt!!! (which I presume won't wash out and will ruin my t-shirt) Once I'd cleaned the excess oil off, the tin then STUBBORNLY REFUSED to avail me of it's contants!! Only after violently shaking the tin, did it decide to release the tuna in bits, some of it flung, completely missing my plate and landing on the floor, thereby instantly becoming un-edible!! Once again I SWEAR I could hear a small metallic laughter from somewhere....

I then promptly (once I'd got the tuna out) STAMPED on the tuna tin in a rage!!!

That felt sooooooooooooooo good! Lol

You see? There's a conspiracy about.

Watch Out, you could be next.