Today was the worst day of my life.

Today I soiled myself in public, and had no control over it whatsoever.

I had to get my dad to pick me up, I stood crying outside the station, getting as far away from people as I could, as it was running down my legs and out of my trousers onto my shoes. I smelt like a really old tramp when he's trodden in something. I've never been so humiliated. And I couldn't do a thing about it.

When I got home, I took a shower, and then threw out my work trousers, underwear and shoes, there was no point even trying to clean them up, they were filthy.

I sat up in my room, too upset to even put msn on, I just watched a dvd, and am off to bed now. My boss knows, as he was there at the time, but no-one else. I've been so depressed tonight, felt so alone. I have to go into work tommorrow, but will be taking a whole change of clothes in case it happens again. I hope not.

I'm going to see the doctor on friday. Maybe this is the final downward spiral to full MS that I've been fearing, it feels stupid to apply for London now.

I can't face anyone at the moment.

I'm off to bed.