Yeh Right. As If!

I received this email in my junk inbox today, it made me laugh:

A secret admirer has sent you a message. Below you will find the message andthe link to view your secret admirer:-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey, I'm not gonna give away my name, but I'm going to give you a few hints. My first hint is: I worked with a friend of yours and we ended up meeting at a bar we were together at. My second hint is: I have brown dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. My third hint is: I drink vodka tonics. I think we even had a discussion about it that night, but maybe not. Anyway, I have a crush on you and would like to meet up sometime if you're interested.

Ok, first of all lady spammer, a few points to note:

1. If I was out for a drink and I met a lady fitting your description, I wouldn't be boring enough to talk about an alchoholic drink all night.
2. If that is all you can remember of my charm and wit, you must be either: a. a very desperate, or b: a very sad individual
3. If you're that interested then you would have given your name and you would have chosen a classier website to make your introduction than "weblove4utonight"
4. I don't know any friend of mine who knows someone matching your description, and if he did, he would have asked you out lol
5. I go out to pubs, not bars.
6. Unless you're a brewery nerd, how can you have a discussion about vodka?!
7. For that matter, why in heaven's name would you have a discussion about vodka?
8. If you have a "crush" on me, you must obviously be about 15 years old, since socially well-adjusted adults do not use those terms.

I think I've made my point.

*presses delete button*