Thursday, February 08, 2007

"'Tis the season to wear wellies..."

Well, well, snow has arrived, and with it, the total impending doom of the country formerly known as the United Kingdom. Overnight, motorists and pedestrians have been turned into gibbering wrecks, as the maelevolent icy fingers of snow break even the strongest will and cause mass hysteria.

Regular radio bulletins warn us that every car should have a special *snowed-in survival kit* which includes a shovel, a blanket and a thermos of hot coffee and a first aid kit. Males all over the uk take a risk and drive to wild untamed God-forsaken places in the countryside, hoping to be "snowed -up" with a female, as the experts instruct us the best way to keep warm in a survival situation is to get naked and share body heat...

The weather people also warn of catastophic blizzards that will sweep the country causing havoc and devastation, preceded by sleet that makes the plague of hailstones in Exodus look tame...

Major buisness leaders warn of dire economic consequences as shares plummet and people re-invest in winter portfolios, and the talking heads on tv all warn that the snow ploughs and gritter trucks themselves may struggle overnight...

What pray tell will become of civilization as we know it? Will the human race survive? (perhaps the people stuck in cars will ;) hehe) We go to our beds and try to rest, knowing that a fitful, restless sleep will be the best we can hope for, as we worry about what the Gods of Ice and Snow will punish us mere mortals with tommorrow...

Oh yeah, just so you know, here in Liverpool....

We had half an inch.

Bah.

6 comments:

  1. Oi! Half an inch of snow IS NOT reason to 'sex up the weather' as you so charmingly put. And do guys really take long drives out to the country with girls just in hopes of sharing some body heat?! Gosh! You Brits are crazy!

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  2. I'm from Minnesota. If we don't have a foot of snow by Mid October we start to worry that Armageddon is rising from hell.

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  3. A whole half an inch WOW !!! We didn't get any snow in Manchester lol

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  4. Arty - as regards us Brits, you don't know the half of it ;) lol

    Mdmhvonpa - I just nearly peed myself laughing!! :)

    Rev - really?! that's wierd, you're only 20 mins from me! With all the precipitation Manchester normally gets I'm surprised you didn't have any!!

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  5. I know JM i was surprised too i was praying for snow anything for a day off work lol

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  6. We had 30cm. Seriously. No kidding. I have photographic proof. (Well OK, not that much photographic proof, I was more interested in sledging than taking photos...But my dog disappeared up to his armpits (do dogs have armpits?) when we ventured out). And yes, it was damn scary to drive in yesterday, and I was seriously wishing I had put the shovel in the car!

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