Friday, February 02, 2007

Catchup Not Ketchup...

Ok, an update on my life at the moment!

Apologies for not posting for a while, I haven't felt very inspired lately, and haven't felt much motivation to blog.

However, there have been things happening in my life, even in the midst of non-blogging and with a lack of motivation...

  • I had a job interview last Saturday. - I felt it went really well, and they said they would contact me in about a week, for a possible second interview, but I've heard nothing as of yet. (it'll be a week since the interview tommorrow) I'm not really sure whether it's a good sign or not that I've heard nothing, I guess I'll just have to wait and see. It's a bit demoralising just waiting for a phonecall, but I guess that's part of the process for everyone.
  • I sent my claim form in for DLA, (Disability Living Allowance) on the 9th December, and have had two letters up until now telling me they are looking at my claim, but not much else. I'm quite frustrated about it as it seems there is a lot of red tape to get through, and I only applied for it in the first place because someone encouraged me that I had a valid case, with having M.S. and still working full-time. I'm not looking for huge amounts of money, I know I'm mild compared with most people who have M.S, but that little extra so that I can get a taxi to work sometimes when I feel tired would be an advantage.
  • I'm really hating work at the moment. Everytime I try to look to the future and worry, (which is all I seem to do at the moment!) I can't see any avenue for progression where I am at the moment, and it's a further source of frustration that the company I work for is cutting back financially all the time at the moment, including staff and resources, so doing my job is getting harder and harder at the moment, and on top of that, I've found out today that my Boss is taking on a new role in the near future, so that he will be even less available than heis now, and I will have to pick up the pieces in the shop even more than currently, with no extra wage or staff resources. Realising what's ahead of me in terms of volume and intensity of work in the next year, is actually making me quite frustrated and low at the moment.
  • For the last couple of weeks, I've got back into worship leading in church, which has been a real blessing and something I've really missed. I didn't realise how much I missed it until I started doing it again, and it's been really great to work with a bunch of quality musicians, leading them an working out arrangements, and being part of a team of people working out the worship life of our fellowship. They're a good bunch of people, and it's only in leading again that I've realised how much I took every one of them for granted. Their improvisation skills, and sensitivity to every little change I make in a song as I'm leading is just sheer brilliance, and I'm grateful to God for the way He has been moulding us together, and that has shown in the expression of worship in the people.
  • I've spent alot of time on my own lately, with occasional moments of social activity with friends, and in those times, I've been learning to appreciate them in ways I haven't before. Don't get me wrong, I'm still struggling everyday with lonliness, and a sense of my old shyness coming back, but the times I have with them seem to alleviate that, and although they are maybe once a week, I'm really gaining the benefit from it, and I think my soul is encouraged everytime I see them.
  • I'm finding the way of Jesus very hard, but worthwhile. I was listening today to a preacher who talked about our soul cravings pointing us to God, and that in the hard times we should be running to Him not away, we should face the problem and hurt, not run from it. He never promises to take us away from it, but He does promise to be with us as we go through it. We should use our pains and hurts to help us encounter God in them, not seek Him for relief outside of them.

That's it for now....

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