A Sad Day In the Life Of MB's...

This is Hobbit News, coming to you direct from Jm's room, with a startling upset in the current biscuit-dunking championships.

The coffee was hot, the strength prepared, the hand to the ready and then.... we're off!

Straight away, that well known up-market break time snack, "Mr Rich tea" was already off the starting blocks as he lowered his taught yet skinny light body into the coffee... At 2.28 seconds, disaster struck. Rich tea had obviously not improved upon his stamina last time as he broke away to the sounds of pitiful gurgling to the bottom of the cup. "What can we say, we tried!" said a spokesbiscuit later. We thought he was ready and fit to compete, but it seems that he'd gone a little bit stake of late, so when his saturation time drew near, he just crumbled"

Next, came our firm favourite, that wheaten golden boy himself, Mr Digestive. Looking resolute and delicious, he entered the dunking area with a calm sense of assurance, knowing he would be the one left complete at the end... Then, disaster struck! Just at the last moment, his support hand group made a fatal mistake which sent Digestive hurtling into the boiling writhing mass of coffee. Sadly, his remains were never recovered. Digestive leaves behind him 3 mini cheddars and an inconsolate Vienna Sandwhich. He will be remembered for his previous good form and his dissolve. Er... I mean resolve.

Ahem.... anyway....

Next up was our old favourite, Hob-Nob. Hob-Nob has been in the press recently due to some wheat not oat comments made about him recently. "Anti-Oat" protesters may always be around, but it doesn't mean I'll give in to them", said Hob shortly before he slipped at the last minute, plunged into the boiling mass of hot liquid, and hauled himself out with 50% dissolve injuries. "Oats are the reason Im still here" said Hob from his hospital bed the next day. "I will reconstitute and compete next year".

Lastly, was the outsider Malt Biscuit (or M.B. as he likes to be known outside the cup) He looked very confident, almost smug as he dipped himself in cautiously. Rumours have been spreading that his new Chocolate Coat would give him an advantage, but it seems, the rumours were unfounded, as his coat very quickly dissolved and gave way. MB struggled to the side in a state of panic while medics washed him off with some warm milk. "It's a sad day in the history of dunking" said one commentator, the best time is unfortunately not eligible because Digestive could not be found afterwards to award him the medal.

Unfortunately, biscuits were harmed during the making of this season.....