Saturday, March 07, 2009

Day 2 - Kindness

This just gets harder!!

How kind am I as a husband?

Do I really show genuine kindness to my wife?

I mean... GENUINE kindness?!

The kind of kindness that shows careful thought and planning, yet no bragging? The kind of kindness that just is, that expects nothing back?

Do I ever do things for my wife because I know she'll like them, or do I always have an ulterior motive? Is it for my best or hers? 

All questions I've been forced to ask today as I've looked at the subject of kindness and how it plays a huge part in marriage. The kind of attitude where nothing is too much effort, nothing is not worth doing to bring that smile to her face. 

It's an attitude that I have occasionally, but not often. Mostly I'm very selfish and my first thought of every day is not "how can I make her happy?". I'll admit, it feels almost impossible to live like that, but surely God is in all this too? How can I say I follow Him if I'm not showing kindness to my wife? 

Do I look for ways to ease her burden, whatever that burden might be? It could be something as complex as helping her work out a math or work related problem, it could be something as simple as making the supper/a cup of tea for her when she looks tired. It could be taking her out for a meal when she looks a little down. It could be going out and getting her meds when she's feeling unwell, it could even be just being willing to sit there and offer a hug, or a kiss, or lifting the hair out of her eyes and telling her that I love her. All ways of being kind to my wife.

If I'm being patient, kindness will follow. It's the next stage of treating my wife with respect. If I'm patient, I'm putting time in my schedule and my day to be kind to her. 

Again, although it seems complicated, it really isn't. It's all about small actions and responses that say "I love you, and you're worth spending this time with in this moment, despite what I have to do today".

It's about showing her how much I love her through small things, something I'm not good at and need to be. How is she gonna know that I love her if I'm at work and can't ring? I could leave mementos, things that express how I feel, little notes, scribblings, things that show her that even though we're apart, I'm thinking of her. 

I could send her more texts during my day.

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