Squishy Stuff, Loud Sales Assistants & Male Humiliation!!! :s :p

I guess you all know it's 2 weeks today till my wedding in the states to a beautiful woman!

Well, there are certain preparations you have to make before you're married, and I thought the following story would amuse people out there, as a very inexperienced male goes into a well-known chemist that has the same name of footwear, if you get my drift...

I went fearfully into the Chemist clutching my previous grocery shopping list with one item circled and underlined nervously, approached the counter, very carefully making sure there was no-one else around, I even waited for a few minutes until the queue cleared, and asked for the particular product I needed.....

My actual words to the sales assistant were: "This is a bit embarassing, but I'm getting married in two weeks, have you got any ********?" lol

The girl behind the counter must have been about 20 years old at most and said "what's that, I've never heard of it?" mortified I had to explain that it was a ********!
(You would have thought the fact I said I was embarrassed and I needed it because I was getting married would have been a clue!)

She said "oh!" and SHOUTED (!) across to her colleague "this lad needs some *******, where do we keep it?"

The thought rushing around inside my rapidly blushing mind? - GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It may be my own paranoia, but I'm convinced every single woman in the place looked at me like I was a pervert or something!! :-(

Eventually something was found, but it involved at least two female sales assistant searching the aisles, and picking up things and saying "is this it?" To which I barely whispered "no, I don't think so", keeping my gaze to the floor so I could avoid eye contact wth every person in the shop...

Eventually, a suitable product was found, and after paying, I quickly escaped, almost running to catch any shreds of dignity that I had left which were escaping through the door....

I'm sure I heard laughter as I left, a distinct female tone...

:-(