Showing posts with label exaggeration by the media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exaggeration by the media. Show all posts

Thursday, February 08, 2007

"'Tis the season to wear wellies..."

Well, well, snow has arrived, and with it, the total impending doom of the country formerly known as the United Kingdom. Overnight, motorists and pedestrians have been turned into gibbering wrecks, as the maelevolent icy fingers of snow break even the strongest will and cause mass hysteria.

Regular radio bulletins warn us that every car should have a special *snowed-in survival kit* which includes a shovel, a blanket and a thermos of hot coffee and a first aid kit. Males all over the uk take a risk and drive to wild untamed God-forsaken places in the countryside, hoping to be "snowed -up" with a female, as the experts instruct us the best way to keep warm in a survival situation is to get naked and share body heat...

The weather people also warn of catastophic blizzards that will sweep the country causing havoc and devastation, preceded by sleet that makes the plague of hailstones in Exodus look tame...

Major buisness leaders warn of dire economic consequences as shares plummet and people re-invest in winter portfolios, and the talking heads on tv all warn that the snow ploughs and gritter trucks themselves may struggle overnight...

What pray tell will become of civilization as we know it? Will the human race survive? (perhaps the people stuck in cars will ;) hehe) We go to our beds and try to rest, knowing that a fitful, restless sleep will be the best we can hope for, as we worry about what the Gods of Ice and Snow will punish us mere mortals with tommorrow...

Oh yeah, just so you know, here in Liverpool....

We had half an inch.

Bah.