So, I'm siting here at the computer in the office at work, with a thousand million thoughts rushing through my brain, trying to concentrate on just a few of them so i can focus and get through today!
That's right, it's my last day in work before two weeks of stateside happiness!!
I'm flying from manchester tomorrow at 9:50am, which means I have to be at the airport at 6:50am, which means (because I'm a nervous wreck about new things) I'll be getting up at 5 to re-check everything I've packed and to have a quiet 30 minute quick panic session before I have to leave for the airport!! :D
It's my first visit to the States, and excitement does not begin to describe the emotions and feelings I'm experiencing at the moment, but I'm sure I'll be cool calm and bond-like by the time I am sitting on the actual plane lol
Oh well, time to go, if I don't blog again before I leave I might blog from Margo's laptop in the States, but I'm not promising!! If not, I'll blog in two weeks time!!!
:D *grins idiotically*
Friday, August 24, 2007
So, I'm siting here at the computer in the office at work, with a thousand million thoughts rushing through my brain, trying to concentrate on just a few of them so i can focus and get through today!
Scribbled by Jm at 12:01 pm
Thursday, August 23, 2007
"Ultimately, you cannot legislate against hatred any more than you can legislate that people should love one another, or should give to the poor. That is an issue of the heart, an issue bigger than the Juristiction of the Law, it's an issue of the human condition of sinfulness..."
Scribbled by Jm at 8:05 am
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Well, here I am again sitting at my desk, ready to give all my eager writers a tasty morsel of the adrenaline-filled adventure that is my life...
Actually... I think I'll just write about my day, that's more believable :p
Well, everything was fine and dandy this morning: I got up, got showered, got dressed, (remembering to put on my "scruffy" boxers, as all my smart and tidy posh ones are packed away!! - as a side note, does anyone else have their best and worst underwear that they wear, or is that just me?! lol) and finished dressing, put my lenses in, and then remembered I hadn't done my usual dose of injections...
I went downstairs and got them out of the fridge, left them to warm up a bit (it hurts more if they're cold!) and then injected as usual, this time using the cold gel pack before and after, like MdMhVonPa had suggested.
Everything was fine, i was a bit sore but all was ok, and I started to finish dressing. I put on my shoes, and suddenly, about a minute after I'd injected, I suddenly got hot, and I mean VERY hot. My whole head felt like it was going to burst with the heat, and I could actually feel the heat coming off of my face. My chest suddenly got extremely tight, and i suddenly found it difficult to breathe.
I realised that I'd had a reactions to the injections, so lay on my bed for a while.
I've been taking this medication for nearly 4 years, and I'd been told in the beginning that a side effect can be a slight anaphylactic shock and tightening of the chest sometimes, and if that happens to go lie down until it subsides. Well, I've only had that happen about 3 or 4 times since I've been taking this, but today was the worst reaction I have ever had.
I really don't know why, the medication was labelled the same, i wasn't any more tired than yesterday when I did it, and I injected myself properly, with the needle gun at the right depth, etc. It was just a one-off weird reaction, but it really threw me, because I wasn't expecting it. It was actually so bad, that I texted my colleague and told her I'd be in late to work as I'd reacted to my medication. I decided I was gonna wait until the tightness in my chest and shallow breathing stopped, which took about twenty minutes. I guess it's the same sensation an asthmatic has during a medium attack.
I just lay there on my bed until it passed, and was thanking my lucky stars that I'd realised what it was, 'cos if I was the panicking type, I could have made it a lot worse by running scenarios through my head!!
On a positive note...
My granny and grandad are coming over on the boat from Belfast tomorrow, cos they're going on holiday with mum and dad on Thursday night to Scotland for five days. It should be a nice break for them, as my grandad hasn't been too well lately, and has been using his wheelchair a lot more as his legs are getting weaker. It'll be good for my granny too, as she still looks after him and pushes him round even though shes got severe angina and a weak heart!! Hopefully mum and dad can take the strain off them a bit and give them a good break :) They're actually going off to celebrate their wedding anniversary (on the 25th when i fly out to the states!!) so I think it's extra nice of them to want to include my granny and grandad in their plans :)
As a consequence of my granny and grandad coming, it's been all hands on deck as we rush around tidying up before they come tomorrow lol! I have already vacuumed the Living Room, Front Room, and the Hall & Stairs, and tidied my own room and vacuumed. (my room isn't finished yet but it's a lot better than it was lol) Thinking about all this tidying, and spending all day yesterday ironing for my holiday, i actually think I've done a whole weeks worth of domesticity in two days this week lol
Gaelic in the title is pronounced "Gal-Ick" as it's Scottish Gaelic not Irish Gay Lick (that sounds rude rofl!!) and it refers to the band I'm Listening to at the moment, an old album of Runrig's, a Scottish Gaelic progressive rock band. I've missed listening to these guys, they're absolutely superb and use Lot's of different instruments, both traditional and modern in their songs. Their albums are usually a mix of Gaelic and English, and even though I can't understand the Gaelic songs, I still enjoy them both lyrically and musically, as they translate the lyrics into English on their album covers. :) Both languages of songs are usually about battles and warriors and historical events and all exciting stuff. They're not heavy rock, so you can hear all the words, and a lot of their music is mellow but powerful if you know what i mean.
Anyway, they're good!
I think this is my longest most rambling post to date so I shall stop here!
Scribbled by Jm at 9:10 pm
Monday, August 20, 2007
Well, it's been another busy weekend that's over...
I had another friend's wedding on saturday that i was playing at again, but unfortunately I felt far too tired by the time it came to go to the evening do. So, I decided to stay in instead, which is probably a bit naughty of me, but I reckon I need to conserve as much energy as I can this week, because I'll use alot of it up on saturday with rushing round like a headless chicken and generally panicking...
yes, that's right... on saturday i flight out to stay with Margo and her family for two weeks!!! I'm ridiculously excited, and to keep me from too much panicking about flying to the states and all the excitement that will bring, I decided to pack ridiculously early today as I had a lieu day off work. I did all my washing yesterday, and spent most of the entire day today simply just ironing two weeks worth of stuff ready. I packed my suitcase at about 4:30/5, and have now finished packing except for a pair of combats I was wearing which I changed out of and have now washed and need to iron as I'm taking them with me.
Apart from that, and the addition of toiletries, etc, I'm all done!!!
Yes it is way in advance, but I'd rather have it that way. I've never been on a journey this long before, and am a bit nervous about being on a plane for 8 hours, but packing early has helped some of the nervousness.
Well, I'm off to iron this last pair of combats, and then go and talk to a pretty american lady I'll be seeing in approximately 5 days!!!!
Scribbled by Jm at 8:48 pm
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Ok, some clarifying needs to happen!
I have been doing my own washing and ironing for the past ten years, it is not a recent thing, but I decided on that particular day to celebrate it lol
On a more negative note, I've been a bit of a pratt and lost my rail pass, which had my bank card in the back! I rang first thing on Tuesday morning and got it blocked, and the bank assured me a replacement would be with me by Friday or Monday. I hope I get it before I jet off to the states; I do have 'holiday money' already, but I always feel a bit more secure with my card in case of emergencies, etc.
Also, I have had a very old freind start popping into the shop quite regularly (three times so far this week) and chat to me about his problems. This is something Im used to, working where I do, but i am slightly worried because, even though I know I'm not a doctor, I have been sensing something's not quite right with him, and I'm absolutely convinced he is suffering from a form of Paranoid Schitzophrenia. He keeps talking about how he's upset someone "high up" and how people are following him in cars and how strangers seem to be shadowing him, etc. He seems to trust me, and I've tried to be encouraging and not threatening each time he's come in, but I'm a bit worried I might say the wrong thing one day, and he'll flip in the shop and turn violent.
I'm not really sure what to do in this situation. I know he's not on any medication, as he said he was on anti-depressants for a while, and they made him much worse. he really says some scary stuff when he's talking to me though, and it's not your usual christian bookshop nutter stuff about world wide conspiracies; all of the conspiracies centre around him and his day to day life. He doesn't get seen at hospital when he's had an accident, it's because he's upset "them", he gets turned down for a loan, it's because "they" don't want him to get one, etc. It's very worrying, and frankly I feel a bit over my head, and am not sure what to do.
Anyone got any suggestions?!!
Scribbled by Jm at 7:08 pm
Monday, August 13, 2007
Sorry for another day's blogging absence, I've had rather a couple of busy days!!!
Yesterday was a crazily busy day, in which I left the house at 10:20, and didn't get back home till 7:45!!!
I went straight from my morning service after church to my Dad's church, with Andrew, John and Graeme, (Bass, Drums, and keyboard player respectively) because we'd agreed to be their worship band for the Chinese Fellowship that meets in his church's building. they were having a special Covenant service, where they were becoming a Baptist chruch officially, and becoming a church in their own right as Wirral Chinese Christian Church. (they'd been linked and started off as an off-shoot from the Liverpool Chinese Gospel church, but saw the need for a separate fellowship in the wirral area)
It was really exciting to be part of the service celebrating the birth of a new church, and although the service was a bit long, (it was all bi-lingual, so everything said in Cantonese was repeated in English a moment later, and vice versa!!) it was a brilliant exciting service to be a part of!! We then packed up all our gear at 5-ish, and headed back to our own church to play for the evening service there!!
I was whacked when i got home, but then was revitalised to speak to the lovely Margo on the phone, and then a little later on cam! (her voice, then her beautiful self on cam... how much more can a man want?! ;) lol)
It's been a very busy weekend, and the week looks to be no different. Tonight I am off to the gym straight from work, and then off to church for a music practice for a wedding on saturday! Thursday night I have a curry night with some of my mates from church, and we're having a "lads night" with three of us lol, should be fun!! :p
I also have to choose the songs for Sunday morning as I am leading then, and we have no data projector, so they'll all have to be from songbooks!! (grrr!)
Anyway, i am also busy in work so I shall have to go!!!
(p.s. I've had to keep correcting the word busy, as in my haste I've been typing "busty" every time! i wonder where my mind is at today.... rofl! :p)
Scribbled by Jm at 12:53 pm
Friday, August 10, 2007
It's SERIOUSLY quiet in the shop.
So quiet that I can stand here and type this.
I've been resisting blogging waiting for a customer to approach, and I've just been checking my emails every ten minutes but I got really bored!! I'm up to date with everything I can think of, and I have no more tasks/projects for today, and we close in little over 30 mins, so there would be no point starting one even if I recalled one suddenly!!
It's been fairly quiet today, bu even though I moan about being bored, it's still a nice feeling to have got through all my priorities and tasks for today. I can just imagine some idiot will come in at 5:25, you just watch!! lol
Scribbled by Jm at 4:59 pm
Ok so today I am sore and weirded out.
Those of you who read this blog may know I inject myself daily with a drug that hopefully will help me long term with my ms, though it is thankfully mild and not progressive at the moment. I've injected today and have had massive red welts appear on my thigh that are very sore. This does happen quite alot, but recently it's been happening every day, and as I inject in the morning, by bed-time they've usually healed themselves. I think it's just a reaction of my sensitive skin to the constant injecting, and I know I should cycle my injection sites more, but I find it such a hassle to inject other areas, and my thighs are easiest to reach, and I find them less painful than my stomach.
Today i think my skin is rebelling against the constant injection though, because it feels like I need some anti-histamines, as these welts are very very hot and they sting like mad when i walk, as the fabric of my trousers I wear for work rubs against them. My MS nurses have told me about a soothing gel I can get and I think I'll go looking for it soon if these reactions carry on like they have been.
Obviously Id rather have the welts than have a relapse, but it does bug me at times when its very sore. Is there anybody else out there who has MS, injects copaxone and knows of a solution? Am I using a wrong injection technique or something? I use the auto-inject pen because I find it easier than staring at an inch long sharp needle; I guess there's still a bit of denial going on there, even after three years of injections!! If anyone has any tips please leave a comment!
In other news, I've been having SERIOUSLY weird dreams the last couple of nights; in one I was horrified to find I was supposed to be marrying my sister, I've no idea why, I have no incestual thoughts or desires, it was horrible. In the dream I kep trying to tell everyone there was a mistake, but people were carrying on in the preparations as if it was normal!! (I haven't told her because she'd probably have the same reaction as I did and want to throw up!) I woke up feeling really weirded out.
The night before last, i dreamt there'd been a terrorist attack for some reason in Liverpool City Centre where I work, and I'd been on lunch in another part of town, and came back to find glass and wreckage and people running panicking everywhere, and for some reason, the chairman of our company was there... It was really weird.
There's not been anything I've watched or listened to on any media thats talked about these things, so I can't think of at least something rational that would have triggered these dreams, and it's freaking me out a bit as I wonder each time I go to sleep what I'm gonna dream about next!!
As strange as it sounds, I'm wondering whether it's related to the MS. This disease attacks my brain, and is going on all the time, so maybe as it moves arounbd different areas it affects your unconscious?! I realise I'm grasping at straws here, but I need some explanation, as I don't normally remember my dreams at all, and only the last few days has this started. I'm not stressed about anything in particular, or worried, although i am excited about going to America on holiday in just over two weeks, but I don't think it would be that... Would it?!
Any one got any suggestions apart from insanity? lol
Scribbled by Jm at 11:03 am
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Scribbled by Jm at 1:51 pm
I've been up for two hours, it's my day off, and what do I do?!
Sit unwashed and smelly for said time in front of my computer looking at facebook and changing "stuff".
I'm becoming an addict, but at least the downward spiral is happening more slowly than others.... hehe :p
Scribbled by Jm at 10:49 am
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Today in the shop we had some very scary indian and african catholic nuns.
On several occasions I was serving someone and they interrupted the conversation I was having with the other customer, spoke over both them and me, and demanded to be served there and then. They were very insistent and demanding.
I can't help but think that if you want to marry God and give your life over to Him, then you should certainly get to know Him a bit better and display his characteristics like patience and longsuffering...
I'm not catholic and never have been but I can see why older men who used to have nuns in their schools growing up, avoid them now in later life... Sheeesh!!
Owing to two separate accidents yesterday afternoon, involving me standing on a piece of sharp metal, and also falling off a revolving chair, (see my previous post!!) I now have a cut right foot (between the toes ouch!) that is hurting and stinging like mad, and a left ankle that is slightly swollen and throbbing!! Who says my house is safe!!
Tonight I met up with Andrew and Graeme in church to practice for a special service in my dads church building on sunday. The local chinese fellowship who meet in the building are having a covenant service as they are becoming an independant baptist church in their own right for the first time!! Four of us from my church are going over to do the music for them as they have no musicians, and we had to work out chords and melody to three songs we didn't know that they've chosen, one in cantonese!! We got through it though and figured all the music out by listening to cd's.... (Graeme has a photographic memory for sound, and plays very very well by ear) Not that I'm saying he plays the piano with his ear you understand, he actually uses his hands cos if he didn't that would be silly... anyway... er.....
Anyway!! He plays music like in the old movies, and Andrew and I were in hysterics as we narrated the story of the Good Samaritan to old style silent movie music rofl!!!
I've said we're gonna do it one day seriously for the kids in church they'd love it... If we can keep a straight face that is lol
Scribbled by Jm at 10:19 pm
Monday, August 06, 2007
You may have heard the rumours, and I can confirm, that they are, in fact true.
On Sunday afternoon, I, the cack-handed, DIY-challenged reprobate that was known as the king of accidents and disasters of a DIY nature, managed to put together the flat-packed DVD/CD Cabinet that I bought recently, ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!
I, of course am rather pleased with this triumph, and will post pictures to prove it shortly.
It took me all afternoon, as it was not a simple shelf creation, but it has sliding glass doors and resembles a cabinet, with adjustable shelves!!
This victory over the demon of bad DIY cannot be underestimated, and I fully intedn celebrating it all week, and using it to spur me on when I buy new bookshelf cabinets in a few months time!!
(my present bookshelf is literally falling apart... I had a minor mishap involving me trying to reach for something, falling off a revolving chair, trying to grab a shelf to stop my fall, and the shelf snapping in two, and all the books falling on my head... it was not a pleasant experience, but I guess it would have been hillarious to see...)
During this afternoon of DIY adventure, i suddenly realised how much i sweat. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but when I get very hot or active, I sweat worse than a horse... Seriously, it's disgusting!! It literally pours off me, and within seconds I can have soaked through the shirt or tshirt I'm wearing!! I really couldn't believe how sweaty i got on sunday simply hammering in some divets and screwing in some screws and holding (fairly) large pieces of wood whilst doing it. It was hot on sunday afternoon, but that's besides the point!!
You should see me at the gym, it's gross lol
If I do end up married, I will be amazed, as I really am deep down a minging minger lol
In other news, i have been waking up with a LOT of sleep sticky stuff in my eyes this week. I don't know if it's because I wear contact lenses and some of the solution solidifies overnight, or whether it's just because I've been so tired lately, but I'm fairly sure it's not the beginnings of conjunctivitus, because I've had that before. I think it's just a sign that I'm a bit tired and run down this week, maybe a bit of a warning for me to slow down a bit.
Oh well, I've bored myself now, I'm off to snap photos of my DIY masterpiece!!
Scribbled by Jm at 7:29 pm
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Where do i start?!
It is very humid and warm in Liverpool today, in fact the weather forecasters claim that's it only 70 degrees Farenheit, but in the shop, with our temperature gauge, it actually says 85!!! I have all the doors open, and there is a very slight breeze, but with humidity at 64 %, it feels very close and threatening. I'm sure we're gonna have a thunder storm.
I am absolutely shattered today. I am at the end of a six day week in work, and although I had four or so hours during the day yesterday to attend my freinds wedding, it didn't feel much of a break as I was playing guitar in the service, and only had time for a quick cheese sandwhich before I had to dash back to work, then finish at 5:45pm, and dash back home to get changed and go to the evening celebration!!
I got home last night at about 12:40, and by the time I got stuff ready for the morning, brushed my teeth before bed, etc, it was about 1am.
This is not really great considering I was in work for 8:30 this morning. I have absolutely no motivation today, my Boss is due back on Monday, and I have loads of things I should be doing in preparation, and I just don't care. i am absolutely brain numbingly bone achingly shattered.
last night at the wedding "do" was interesting. they had a really amazing live band that went through loads of styles and old hits, even james' brown "I feel good", which was superb. The only down side to the night was that I seemed to be the only single person at my table, and although that doesn't usually bother me, for part of the night people reached that stage where they wanted to dance/talk/snog with the person they came with, and I was left feeling a bit silly. i wasn't particularly lonely or feeling sorry for myself, I've generally got over that now, I just felt a bit out of place. it was a strange feeling as I did actually mostly enjoy the night.
My friends wedding went really well, and the music group at church did her and her husband proud. The only funny thing was their entrance and exit music. they'd chosen to use music from a cd, and it was nice, I'm not criticizing their choice, but because of the grandeur of the music background, (to me) it felt a bit silly in a small church setting. Someone standing next to me leaned over as my friend walked back down the aisle with her new husband, and whispered "I can't help thinking listening to this that there should be a massive screen somewhere in the church scrolling credits" lol!!
Ah well, it was their choice and they had a brilliant day before others and before God, which is the point I guess!!
I would like to mention at this point that i don't have any pictures, because in the hecticness of the day, i forgot my camera and left it on the desk even though I'd charged the batteries all day in readiness!! I was very annoyed at myself over that, but had to shrug it off in the end.
That's precisely how long I have left before I go on my first ever trip to the United States to stay with Megan and her family for two weeks, and I'm very very excited!!
Everything that I need has been bought in preparation, currency ordered and arrived, etc, the only thing I need to do now is pack, which I haven;t started because it's way too early and I'm determined to beat my nervous paranoia that usually accompanies me in trying to pack weeks and weeks in advance to stop me worrying about forgetting something!!
It was a strange feeling sitting there last night in the midst of all those couples, knowing that i am single and yet have the possibility of not being in the very near future. It was kind of like being in a relationship limbo, where you are single and yet you're not, because your thoughts are with someone else, not through choice, but through circumstance.
That's given some of you gossip fodder now hasn't it?! ;)
Anyway, I must go before the whole of my lunch time is over...
Bye for now!!
Scribbled by Jm at 12:03 pm